The Metamorphosis of Ginny Weasley
by The Forgotten Lover
Summary: It's been 7 years since Ginny and Hermione have seen each other. A lot has changed between the girls, but their lingering feelings remain buried within. An encounter with one another at Harry's wedding lights the spark to a buried past, leading them on a path to discovering who they've become over time. Femmeslash, Ginny/Hermione. Contains: BDSM themes, self harm.
1. Chapter 1

"I never thought I would live to see the day Harry Potter got married." Hermione stared at Harry, who met her gaze from the mirror he was standing in front of. He smiled his usual lopsided grin as he adjusted his bow tie, and turned to face his best friend. He was rather handsome, for a man.

Hermione who wore a maroon, silk dress stepped into the room that her best friend currently occupied, and shut the door behind her. She was truly happy for her friend; he found the girl of his dreams and intended to be with her for the rest of his life. Hermione knew that Harry didn't take marriage lightly; he had gone through several women and several dates before he finally found his one true love, who just happened to be under his nose this entire time.

"I still can't believe you're marrying Luna Lovegood." Hermione laughed, the rational side of her thought it was absurd, but the romantic inside of her thought they made a perfect match. Luna was always the quiet, quirky type to put it lightly, but after their days at Hogwarts was when Harry and Luna really started to get to know one another. It was like fitting the missing puzzle pieces together, to have one complete soul. Hermione sighed at the thought, and wondered momentarily if she'd ever find that piece, or if she already missed her chance and it had slipped away through her fingers. To have the potential for love taken away before it even had the chance to blossom, now that was tragic. She brushed her idle thoughts aside for now, today was Harry's day, and it was a joyous occasion.

Ron came barging in at that moment, his tie dangling off his neck, and his now long red hair pushed in front of his eyes. He had a black tuxedo, just as Harry did. No doubt he was the best man, no one questioned it. Ron, although some may consider him cute in a boyish way, could be such a mess sometimes, but Hermione couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"I can't get my tie on right, and my wand doesn't want to cooperate with me. How do you muggles function?" Ron, whose face was flushed, looked to Hermione to help him. Of course, whenever he needed help he looked to her. What else was new? His eyes roamed her body as he waited for a response, from her legs to her breasts and then back down again. His eyes widened at the beautiful brunette before him, but he brushed it off. If he only realized what he had when he had it, he wouldn't feel that familiar ache in his heart.

"Lavender doesn't know how to tie a tie, can you believe that Harry? Some help she is." Ron looked to Harry, who was so deliriously happy that he couldn't care less about his friend's worries. He sat there in a maroon and gold lounge chair, staring at his friend and just smiled.

"Oh Ronald, come here will you." Hermione said as she beckoned him with her finger.

He looked up at her with his puppy dog eyes, which used to mean something to Hermione, but no longer had that effect on her. She couldn't care less of what his face looked like, when he decided that Lavender Brown was a better match for him two years ago, she wrote him off and promised to never look back. If he didn't want to be with her anymore, that was perfectly fine, she wasn't going to waste her time crying over him like she used to do when she was a teenager. It was useless, crying was useless, and served no purpose, at least that's what Hermione thought on the matter. Ron, on the other hand, realized that just because someone seems better in the moment, doesn't always mean they are the best choice for you in the long run, but it was too late now. He made his bed, and now he had to lie in it.

She grabbed hold of his tie, and yanked at it as quickly as she could, not wanting to be bothered with having to be in contact with him for more than she required. Once the tie was decent enough, she dropped her hands to her sides, and motioned for him to look in the mirror. He stared at her for a second longer, hoping to have some sort of eye contact with her, but when she refused to meet his gaze, he turned to look at his reflection in the mirror. He smiled, and pushed his overgrown hair out of his face.

"Thanks Hermione. So Harry, are you ready to throw your life away?" Ron joked as he hit Harry playfully against the shoulder.

"I'm not throwing my life away, I couldn't possibly be. I'm so in love, I just can't believe she said yes to me. I'm going to make her so happy." Harry trailed off. Ron turned to look at Hermione, and smiled to which she returned the gesture. They both had to admit that they were happy for their friend; they could put their issues aside for now to celebrate Harry's big day.

"I know my mother is happy for you. You're like her son, and all I heard from her earlier was asking me when I was going to get married. I'm not going down that black hole anytime soon." Ron chuckled.

Hermione, who was still standing there, listening to the conversation, asked Ron, "Speaking of your family, do you know if Ginny is coming?"

Ron shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Ginny has her own way of doing things, we never really know when or if she is going to show up. I haven't seen her in ages." Ron mentioned, not putting anymore thought into Hermione's inquiry.

"Neither have I. It's been too long…" Hermione trailed off, thinking of thoughts of the past that the two girls shared, the closeness, the bond, the feelings she once felt for the youngest Weasley. They still lingered deep inside her.

Harry cleared his throat at that, knowing the relationship they had in the past might be a deterrent for her to show up, but he still hoped she would come. "I understand if she doesn't come. It's her ex boyfriends wedding after all."

"Oh Harry, I'm sure she got over that years ago. That's too far in the past for her to not show up." Ron looked in the mirror at his reflection once again as he said this.

Hermione stood there quietly, thinking about the last time she saw Ron's younger sister, and felt butterflies in her stomach when she thought about the potential of seeing her tonight. She really missed Ginny; they had grown so close at one point, sharing their last year together at Hogwarts, just the two of them, no boys. It brought up a lot of complicated feelings that Hermione wasn't ready to admit to herself at the time, and unfortunately the two girls drifted apart after Ginny went away to play Quidditch professionally. That was seven years ago…Hermione was now twenty six, and Ginny twenty five. How could so much time have passed already?

"Speaking of Ginny, have you heard that she quit the team?" Ron asked both Harry and Hermione.

They were both shocked to hear the news, why on earth would she quit the team? Everyone knew just how much she loved the game.

Ron nodded his head at their expressions, "I know…I was just as shocked as you. Apparently it just wasn't working out for her, or at least that's what mum told me. She writes to her often."

"What has gotten into that girl?" Hermione asked, more to herself than to the men. She had no idea why Ginny would quit the Harpies, that was her dream job, and the way Hermione watched her play, she knew Ginny loved it.

"I think she is just tired of the competitiveness. It's always got her on edge, but it looks like you're going to be seeing a lot of her now Hermione. McGonagall gave her a job at Hogwarts." Ron said all of this with a monotone voice, like there was nothing exciting or shocking about it.

That peaked Hermione's interest greatly, and also made her stomach drop to the floor. "She's going to be teaching at Hogwarts now? Let me guess, flying and Quidditch?"

"No, actually Defense against the Dark Arts." Ron said, now showing some emotion in his voice. He couldn't believe it either.

"Really, well now that is quite a change. I wonder why she is going for this career change now…"

There was a knock on the door, and Lavender opened it without waiting for permission. She stared at Hermione for a moment, looking her over, and then turned to Ron and Harry. The wedding is about to start, we need you both out there now."

She ignored Hermione, who didn't really care anyway. She wasn't much for getting into a staring contest with Lavender; the drama of it all was tiring. Ron also warned her not to stare at her too long because she would start to become self-conscious about the scars that remained on her body from the war.

Harry stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, patting his hair down, but having it just stick right back up again.

"Well, I'll see you out there Harry." Hermione approached him and kissed him on the cheek.

He looked at her for a moment, and smiled. She could tell he was genuinely happy. "Thanks Hermione."

Hermione nodded and turned to see Ron standing there with a stupid grin on his face, waiting for his kiss on the cheek. Hermione knitted her eyebrows together and held back a laugh as she walked past him and Lavender, and made her way outside.

The wedding was taking place at the Lovegood household, which was full of its oddities and wonders. Hermione walked outside, and made her way to the wedding where most of the guests were already seated. She had her place on the front row, where the Weasley family was seated. Hermione looked up at the sky to see dazzling shades of orange and lavender dancing in the sky. The sun casting a warm glow over the lawn, which was green and sprouting with all kinds of flowers and plants, some that the guests had never seen or heard of before.

"Hello dear, how's Harry doing?" Mrs. Weasley asked as Hermione took her seat next to her. She wore an emerald green gown that brought out the shade of her eyes. She stared into Mrs. Weasley's eyes, being reminded of Ginny. They were kind eyes.

"He's doing really well actually. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before." Hermione looked down the row of seats to see each of the Weasley family in attendance, except for Ginny, and of course, Fred.

Her smile faded slightly when she didn't see the only other female Weasley in attendance, but did her best to hide her disappointment.

"That's wonderful; oh and here he comes now. Look!" Mrs. Weasley squealed with excitement as she turned her head and watched as Harry made his way down the aisle with Ron by his side. Lavender trailed behind them, and eventually took her seat next to Hermione.

"He looks so handsome." Mrs. Weasley commented.

"I do wish he had a muggle wedding though. I would have loved to have experienced it." Mr. Weasley commented.

"Trust me Arthur; a magic wedding is so much more interesting than a muggle one." Hermione smiled.

It was at that moment, that music began to play, and everyone stood up. Luna was about to come down the aisle, and everyone turned to face her. This was the moment everyone was waiting for.

After a few seconds of waiting, Luna came out of the house with her father by her side. Hermione expected her to be wearing some kind of outrageous costume as her wedding gown, but was pleasantly surprised to see that Luna was dress in a gorgeous white gown. She was beautiful.

Her hair was tied up loosely, and her makeup was done perfectly, she looked so happy. Both of them, bride and groom, looked stunning.

Hermione could hear Mrs. Weasley sniffling from behind as Luna approached Harry. Once the bride was at the front of the altar, Professor McGonagall, who acted as the Justice of the Peace, told everyone they may be seated.

And so the ceremony began, Hermione as well as everyone else in the crowd watched as Harry and Luna pronounced their love for one another and promised to always be there, no matter what may come. Through thick and thin, through arguments, hardships, no matter the distance or time apart, they would always be together.

Hermione found it sweet, and she believed that the two of them would actually be together forever. She hadn't really seen many relationships in her life that really worked out, besides her parents, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, it seemed like no one stayed together. Was it really so hard to make a promise and keep it? Was it hard to believe that there really could be a forever when it came to love? Or was forever just meant until they found someone else who was better? She pushed aside the depressing thoughts in her mind and tried her best to focus on the wedding, and that's when she noticed a streak of red from the corner of her eye.

Of course there was a mass of red heads sitting next to her, but something was different about this one. The feeling was different, the air had become electric, and the hair on her arms rose as she turned to see the person who just sat down at the end of the row. It was Ginny Weasley, who was late, but still managed to make it to see the happy couple seal their marriage.

She was wearing a thin, blue dress and she looked absolutely magnificent. Hermione got caught up staring at Ginny that she momentarily forgot about the wedding that was going on right in front of her. She felt her mouth fall open ever so slightly, and ached for Ginny to look at her, if only she would just look at her.

The red head was staring at the couple getting married, but her eyes flashed for a moment, and landed on Hermione, and remained there. The two women stared at each other, neither daring to look away. Ginny's eyes were wide, taking in all of Hermione with a hungry stare. Hermione could feel the burn of her stare on her body, and it excited her to no end. She couldn't look away, she didn't want to. Her eyes thanked her for being able to look at someone as beautiful as her. They hadn't the pleasure of seeing Ginny for years, until this moment.

It was then that Hermione noticed people were standing up around her, and clapping, and getting in the way of her view of Ginny. Their eye contact was broken. What had just happened? Hermione looked around her as if she was just in a trance, and realized that her best friend had just gotten married and was now walking down the aisle with his new bride. She stood up, and began clapping, still wondering what just happened, and how much time had passed while the two women were looking at one another. She wanted to look back at Ginny, but suddenly she was frightened to. The butterflies in her stomach were swarming, and the ache she felt at her core was growing too strong. How could just looking at her do that?

It was time for the reception, people were moving to the other side of the lawn, where the couple had already gone. It was time to celebrate, and Hermione sure did feel like she could use a drink. She dared to turn around and see that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were now talking to their daughter, who was genuinely happy to see her parents. Her eyes flashed back to Hermione for a brief moment, something was different about them though. The look she gave her was so powerful, so domineering…Hermione had a hard time actually putting it to words. It was a cold look, but warm at the same time. It made the brunette shudder.

"Nice of her to actually show up." Lavender Brown said from behind Hermione.

Hermione turned to face Lavender, and just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm getting a drink, you want to come?"

Lavender, surprised that Hermione offered, looked taken aback. "Sure" she simply said and followed Hermione's lead. The two girls walked over toward the bar, which was starting to fill up with people. Harry and Luna were sitting at their table, whispering things to one another that no one would ever hear. Hermione longed for that kind of love, that kind of feeling.

She kept stealing glances at Ginny, who was surrounded by a sea of red hair. They must not have seen her in ages either. She wanted to talk to her, to see what she has been up to, to simply just hear her voice, but she was surrounded. Oh, if only Hermione had the chance to be alone with her…it seemed like she wouldn't get that chance though. It seemed as if the girls had the same thought in mind, because both of them kept looking at each other throughout the night, getting closer, but not close enough.

As the night went on and hours passed like nothing, Hermione found herself sitting at the bar, watching as everyone danced and enjoyed themselves. She watched as Harry and Luna shared their first dance, kissing and laughing with each other. Lavender sat at the bar with her, but she mainly spoke about the things people were wearing, or drama that was going on at her work. Hermione idly kept the conversation going by nodding her head, or adding a comment in here or there, but her mind could not focus on anything she was saying. It was as if she had been invaded by thoughts of Ginny, and now she couldn't stop. Her thoughts kept going back to the look she gave her, and the feelings that proceeded. How can one look do so much to a person?

Ron approached the women from behind, it was obvious that he had a few drinks in his system by the way he was walking and smiling. "Hey girls, what are the two of you talking about? Hopefully not me." He laughed to himself at that, and the girls just shared a look.

"Nothing Ron, just talking about work stuff." Lavender replied, tugging at the front of his tuxedo and pulling him closer. He smiled, and went in for a kiss. Hermione turned her gaze away from the two, only to be met face to face with another red head.

"Hermione" Ginny cocked her head to the side slightly, and stared intensely at the brunette sitting down in front of her. She was standing right next to Hermione, but the brunette had no idea how long she had been there. Her hand rested on a glass of fire whiskey, and her other rested on her hip.

Hermione's cheeks burned at the stare coming from Ginny. She smiled, but found it hard to come up with words. Was it always this hard to form words? "Ginny, I can't believe it's really you." She finally managed to stammer out.

Ginny smiled slightly, but her overall look was serious. "It's been too long. You look…stunning, I must say."

Hermione nodded her head, feeling the burning desire bubbling up from within. She wanted Ginny, she wanted her so bad, and she hardly even uttered a few words to the woman. They hadn't spoken in years, and that same intensity that they shared all that time ago resurfaced.

"Thank you. And you are beautiful, just as you always were." Hermione said.

Ginny chuckled at that, and downed her glass of fire whiskey. She chose not to say anything else, but to stand there, and watch Hermione squirm.

"So I hear you're coming to Hogwarts to teach?" Hermione asked, trying to change the subject, trying to focus on anything but how bad she wanted to be taken by the red head. She could take her right here on this table, all it would take it just a slip of her dress and…

Ginny nodded her head slowly, "That's correct. I'm coming on as the new Defense against the Dark Arts professor. So you'll be seeing a lot more of me Professor Granger."

It just so happened that Hermione was taking a sip of her margarita at that moment, and ended up choking on the drink. Something about the way she spoke to her got her all hot and bothered. "Just like old times then. You and me, alone at Hogwarts."

Ginny genuinely smiled at that, thinking back on fond memories of the two. She was about to say something else, when Ron came between the two and placed his arms around their shoulders.

"Did someone say just like old times? It's so nice to have everyone all together again." Ron slurred at the end of the sentence.

It was at that point that Harry and Luna joined their old friends at the bar, to which everyone congratulated. The pull between Hermione and Ginny was far too strong to ignore, even with all their friends around to distract them; they couldn't stop looking at each other. Ginny was so intense with her stare, something Hermione wasn't used to. Even when they were younger, Hermione never remembered Ginny looking at her in such a way. It deeply excited her, but she wasn't exactly sure why the look alone could do so much.

"Congratulations Harry. Luna, you found yourself a great man. You look so beautiful." Ginny took hold of Luna's hand and squeezed it lightly. She honestly had no hard feelings that Luna and Harry were a couple, she was genuinely happy for the two of them. Her relationship with Harry in the past no longer phased her. She was well over that, and on to other ventures.

"Thank you so much Ginny. Don't be a stranger, please. Harry and I would love to see more of you." Luna said as she took a seat next to Ginny, and they began a conversation of their own.

Harry looked down at Hermione, noticing the flush appearance and raised his eyebrows curiously. He chose not to say anything, figuring it was the alcohol, and instead just placed his hand on her shoulder and patted it lightly. "Thank you for coming Hermione. It means the world to me that you guys are here."

"Of course Harry, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm happy for the both of you, you deserve this." Hermione looked up at Harry and smiled brightly. She meant it.

Harry looked at Ginny, who was now deep in conversation with Luna about some new creature that Luna discovered. Ron was staring at the two women, trying the best he could to follow what Luna was saying, but failed miserably. The look on his face gave it all away.

He stumbled backwards for a moment, and found Lavender once again. She took him by the hand, and led him out to the dance floor. Harry and Luna were about to leave and go off on their honeymoon to America.

Harry stood next to Hermione, and leaned in to her ear whispering, "It's odd seeing her again after all this time, don't you think?"

Hermione took another drink from her margarita, and nodded her head quietly. Ginny Weasley was a mystery woman at this point. She had no idea what her life had been like for the past seven years, what could she really say about the matter though? They just kind of drifted apart after Hogwarts. It was sad, that they were once so close, and now they were practically nothing. How can you go from being best friends with someone to nothing, just like that? What happened? Were they just busy? Did they drift apart? Why would they let something so powerful dissolve just like that? Their bond was so strong and so intense; it's funny how life can take that all away in a blink of an eye. One minute you mean something, and the next you're nothing.

Maybe it was the alcohol taking over her emotions, but she was familiar with this train of thought. She knew if she kept thinking like this she would spiral down into a depression, and the best thing she could do was to stop thinking about it. She had to keep busy, she had to do something. She stood up, not knowing what else to do, and asked Harry, "Would you like to dance?"

"Of course." He said with a smile on his face. He held out her hand and she took it.

Ginny continued the conversation with Luna, but followed Hermione with her eyes. She watched her from the bar as she linked her arms around Harry, and they began to dance. It was a slow song, so that made it worse. She felt jealous, although Harry just married Luna, who didn't seem to mind that her husband was dancing with the most beautiful woman at the wedding…besides the bride of course.

"So Ginny, how have you been? You know, since…" Luna inquired but was quickly cut off by Ginny.

She turned her attention back to Luna, "I'm fine." She lied.

Luna stared at Ginny, knowing better than that. "I won't push anything. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know it hasn't been easy."

"I said I'm fine. Really, this is your wedding and we're not going to ruin it with my problems. Now please, can we talk about something else?" Ginny asked, looking down at her hands, and covering up the bruises left on her knuckles.

Luna was silent for a second, and nodded her head, "Why not talk about the way you've been eyeing Hermione all night?"

Ginny's shoulders dropped and she couldn't help but laugh, "I can't help that Luna. She's too damn beautiful."

Both of the women turned to stare at Harry and Hermione, who were talking and laughing as they danced. The song was about to end, and Luna was about to leave on her honeymoon.

The blonde stared at Ginny as she watched Hermione dance, and couldn't help but smile. Hermione would be a good match for Ginny, if and when Ginny was ready for a relationship. She hoped that they would figure out what is right in front of their faces.

The song was over, and Luna stood up from her seat. Ginny stood up with her, and they headed toward Harry and Hermione.

"Are you ready, my love?" Harry asked Luna.

"Always" Luna replied quietly.

Their hands linked and Hermione stood next to Ginny as the couple was getting ready to depart. Ginny, who was slightly taller than Hermione, brushed up against her arm and smelled her hair when Hermione wasn't watching. It was like a magnetic pull between the two. Something primal inside both of them knew that they had to have more of each other, but both of them were scared. Scared of the potential of something so strong breaking again.

Hermione's breathing grew heavier, and she tilted her head up to meet Ginny's gaze. Their eyes connected once more, and Hermione moved closer without really knowing what she was doing. She had to have more of Ginny; there was no other way around it. She needed her.

The lights overhead shone beautifully over Hermione's natural curls. The pale moonlight surrounded them, and the stars were shining brightly. It couldn't have been a better moment if it was planned. Harry and Luna were already across the lawn, saying their goodbyes to everyone. No one was paying attention to the two women. Ginny knew what she wanted, and she started to move closer to Hermione. Their lips were about to meet in the middle, but at the last moment, Ginny forced herself to stop. The ache was so strong, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was trembling.

Hermione, who had her eyes closed in anticipation for the kiss, now opened them to see what was wrong. It looked as if Ginny were on the verge of tears, and she grabbed hold of her own hands, covering her bruises once more. She began to shake her head, and back away, leaving Hermione standing there, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Ginny?" Hermione questioned quietly, only concerned for her friends well being. This wasn't like her at all, but then again, how much did she really know about Ginny now?

"I can't…I can't. I'm sorry…" Ginny turned from Hermione at that moment, just as the tears began to flow down her face. She angrily wiped them away, and took a deep breath.

 _Don't do this now Weasley. You're better than this. Be stronger than this._ Ginny thought to herself. She straightened her face the best she could, but would not turn around for Hermione to see.

"I'll see you at Hogwarts Hermione. I can't stay here, I'm sorry. I have to go." Ginny, who was so fierce just a moment ago, couldn't bear to look at Hermione now. It wasn't her fault though. She walked away from Hermione without a second glance.

Hermione stood there, truly confused as to what was going on with her. Ginny was being very unusual, something had to be wrong, but what was it? Ginny wasn't the same person she knew all those years ago, something was different. She watched as the red head walked further out into the lawn and apparated. What else could she do but watch Ginny leave?

What happened to Ginny?


	2. Chapter 2

Ginny woke the next morning to a massive headache, and not remembering much of the events that took place last night. The last thing she recalled was apparating to a back alley in London, and making her way to one of her favorite pubs. This was something she had grown accustomed to in the recent months, hanging out at pubs and drowning her sorrows. The rest of the evening was a blur, good thing she had magic to cure her hangover.

She stumbled out her queen sized bed; the curtains were drawn so that the room was almost pitch black, and made her way to the bathroom in her small but cozy flat, and shut the door quietly behind her. She opened the cabinet that hung above the toilet and reached for the potion that she kept in the back. A small vial of what appeared to be slimy, purple goo now rested in her hands. She opened the cap, and took a swig, grimacing at the taste, but could feel the effects instantly. Her headache had vanished, her bones were no longer achy, and her vision cleared.

That's when she realized that she was completely naked. Ginny sighed, and placed the vial back in the bathroom cabinet. She knew she had to pack up today, Hogwarts awaited her, and hopefully a new life with fresh beginnings would happen for her…but you know, fresh beginnings and positive outlooks on life were usually crap.

She shut the cabinet door quietly, and turned for a second to look at the bathroom door, almost afraid to open the door and see if there was a stranger in her bed. The room was silent however, and the only thing she heard was the ringing of her own ears. Satisfied momentarily and pushing the thought aside, she turned to her shower and turned it on to the highest temperature she could get it.

She stuck her hand beneath the tap, and pulled back swiftly at the burn she felt from the water. She smiled bitterly to herself, and opened the curtain to step inside. The water stung her body, but Ginny didn't really care. The pain was somehow soothing to her, as it had been for the past several months now. It served as a distraction, a momentary break from her mind that she welcomed eagerly.

The water poured down her face, burning the tips of her ears, and running down her bare back in a smooth, almost poetic way. The motion of the water carved way for the pink soreness of her flesh, and Ginny sighed once more.

She licked her lips, and leaned her body against the tiled wall of her shower. She was no longer hung over, but she could barely find the energy to move. Why did she have to continue moving and existing? Couldn't she stay like this forever, away from the world and all the horrible things that life threw her way? She momentarily imagined her life living in the shower, and smiled at the thought. She would become dehydrated, shrivel up and die. The thought of death made her feel calm, which also scared her.

She grabbed the soap off the ledge of the bath and began rubbing her body slowly, feeling the difference in heat from the coldness of her hands to the hot, stinging flesh of her body. She was both hot and cold. Her limbs were always cold, no matter what she did, especially at the tips of her fingers and her feet. People told her she was like ice; that was when she allowed someone to actually get close enough to touch her.

Ginny closed her eyes, and let the water pour over her face, melt her stress away, give her something else to think about besides the never ending pain she felt inside. How did she become this way? How could she become so bitter? Ginny wondered for a moment, but quickly shut that part of her mind off. She didn't want to think about it, she wanted to forget. If she had it her way, she would never remember. It was far too painful for her to look back on her life. Bad thoughts were sure to follow.

She cleared her throat, feeling that familiar sting in her eyes. Her heart told her to cry, but her mind told her to be strong, and shut up.

 _Be brave, don't let it show. Never let it show again. Never. Never. Never._ Ginny repeated in her mind, like a mantra. She squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could and pushed the tiny drops of tears away from her face, and they met the hot stream of the shower water.

She reached for the shampoo and quickly washed her long red hair, watching as it turned a deeper shade of red as the weight of water was added, and the suds from the shampoo disappeared. Satisfied that she had done a thorough cleaning of herself, and could no longer smell the lingering scent of alcohol on her body, she turned the water off. The cold air caused her to shiver violently. When she opened the curtain and stepped out of the shower, she took a brief look at herself in the mirror, which she found hard to do these days. She cleaned the steam from the mirror with her hand, and stared at herself.

If it was Ginny's goal to look like a tomato, then she had succeeded. Her flesh burned against the air, feeling a mix of both hot and cold, enough feeling to make her concentrate on that. Once she had her teeth brushed, she looked back to the door of the bathroom, unwilling to step out, but knowing she had to if she wanted to move on with her day. Hopefully there wouldn't be anyone there, but Ginny knew better than to have wishful thinking. It always led to disappointment.

She opened the door to the bathroom, and the light from the bathroom created a rectangle silhouette of light against her bed. There was a mass of some kind lying on the side of the bed, still sleeping peacefully. She watched as the lump breathed in and out quietly beneath the sheets. Ginny became angry with herself, and hoped that she hadn't brought home a man. She at least hoped it was a woman. She hated what she had become.

She took a few steps into the bedroom, and walked over toward the window, where she pushed the curtain open to reveal brown bushy hair sticking out of her bed sheets. She gasped for a moment, wondering if she had taken Hermione home…and felt her heart dropping to the floor. She didn't want to do that to Hermione; a one night stand was not something that Hermione was. She left Hermione at the wedding; it couldn't be her, could it?

The mass of hair began to move, the owner of the bushy hair groaned, and pulled the sheets down from her head to reveal much to Ginny's relief that it wasn't Hermione, but resembled her in certain ways. This woman was shorter, had green eyes and sounded completely different from her.

"Good morning" The mystery woman squeaked from the bed.

Ginny stared at her; her shadow against the window was all the woman could really see. She wasn't entirely sure what happened the night before either.

"Morning" Ginny said quietly. She was always awkward when it came to this. She never imagined herself to be this kind of person. She thought back on her younger self, who wished to save sex for someone special, someone who truly deserved to share that kind of love with her. That wasn't that long ago, it made Ginny sad to know that she never got that chance. She wasted her love. She wasted so much.

"I have to start packing…I'm supposed to be moving out today." Ginny said awkwardly. She knew this woman was a muggle, and luckily Ginny was smart enough to conceal anything that had to do with magic. At least she wasn't drunk enough to forget that part. Whenever she took a witch home with her, they would always go on about her being a famous Quidditch star, but not this one. She treated her like a normal human being, and Ginny liked that. She missed being just another face in the crowd. It was difficult to mourn when everyone is watching you.

"Yeah?" She asked as she sat up in bed, revealing her breasts to Ginny like it was nothing. Ginny stood there in her towel and watched as the woman looked around for her clothes. She tried to move, but the rattling of something caused her to stop.

Ginny smiled slightly at the sound, realizing what she had done last night. The woman was still cuffed to the bed. Seems like Ginny brought out her toys last night, and wondered how far she had taken it with this one. The woman didn't seem bruised or hurt at all, so maybe Ginny took it easy on her.

"Do you mind unlocking my legs? I have to use the bathroom." She asked quietly, wary of what Ginny would say.

Ginny was already making her way to the bed; she grabbed the key from her side of the bed, and walked around to her side. Ginny removed the blankets, and stuck the key into the restraints that kept her there. The keys clinked around until the brace released its victim, and she thanked Ginny.

The brunette got up from the bed, and made her way to the bathroom where Ginny just was. She closed the door behind her, but continued to talk to Ginny, "It's a shame you have to move. Where are you going?"

Ginny went into her closet and grabbed some clothes that were comfortable enough to wear for traveling, and removed her towel by dropping it on the floor. She quickly dressed and responded, "I have a new job I'm starting next week. I'm going to be a professor."

"Really?" The woman flushed the toilet and made her way back out of the bathroom. She found her clothes from the night before and put them on.

Ginny nodded her head, and focused her attention on the floor as the woman got dressed. She suddenly felt shy, and didn't want to intrude on the woman dressing in front of her. There was still warmth and kindness inside of her…she just had to search for it.

"We could have had so much fun together, but I'm glad I got the chance to have you last night...or should I say you had me? You were brilliant, by the way. So strong and so forceful, I loved every minute of it." She took a few steps closer toward Ginny who could smell the alcohol still on her breath from a few feet away.

That made Ginny cringe on the inside. She smiled politely though, and the strange woman must have picked up on the hint that it was her time to go. Before she left though, she searched the room for a piece of paper and pen, finally finding what she was seeking, jotted something down on the paper for her.

She took the piece of paper and handed it to Ginny, "If you ever get lonely, you know my number. I'll be your naughty school girl any time you want, Professor."

Ginny looked down and knew enough about muggles to know that this was a phone number…and her name was Francesca.

"I'll keep that in mind." She faked a smile.

The woman smiled and winked, approached Ginny and kissed her on the cheek, all while Ginny just stood there and watched. She found her way to the front door and closed it quietly behind her. Ginny stared at the door for a few more seconds, waiting to feel anything, to feel something about what just happened, but she felt nothing. She was numb.

She crumbled up the paper Francesca gave her, and threw it away. There was nothing there, a feeling she had come to understand more over the years. There was no point, no reason.

Sighing yet again, Ginny turned to face the mess she had in her apartment, and was lucky that she had magic and her parents' home to store all of her stuff. Hogwarts had fully furnished her new quarters apparently, or so Headmistress McGonagall had told her at the wedding. She had no connection to any of the houses anymore, since Hermione was the head professor of Gryffindor now, but she would be neighbors with Hermione, and the rest of the former Gryffindor's who were now professors. She hadn't seen some of her classmates in years, and she was looking forward to seeing them all again, but more importantly, seeing Hermione.

She couldn't deny the connection she shared with Hermione, even after all these years apart. Last night was a reminder of just how much she had missed the brunette, and how much she pushed her feelings for her under the rug. Given everything that she had been through since the last time she saw Hermione, she still felt the same. It was only natural for the feelings to come rushing back to her, with just one look at her beautiful face, all the memories of the two of them came flooding back to her. The year she and Hermione spent at Hogwarts alone, after the war was over was a year she would always cherish in her heart. She wished she could go back to that time, take back her life in between then and now, and start all over, tell Hermione how she truly felt, and take that risk she had been kicking herself for not taking for years now. That little voice in her head that kept telling her to tell Hermione the truth about how she felt, which had been quiet for years, now began shouting at her. The voice was mad.

But if Hermione knew who she was now, the life she led, the kind of things she did, what happened to her in the past, would there even be a chance now? Would Ginny want to risk something like that again? Would she want to risk having her heart destroyed once again? Did she even have enough in her to give it another shot with someone else? Ginny couldn't fathom having her heart broken anymore, she couldn't imagine what kind of immeasurable pain she would feel if Hermione wound up breaking her heart too. That was her best friend, even if they hadn't spoken in years. She didn't think Hermione would be capable of doing that to her, but then again what did she know about Hermione now, except that she was now the Arithmancy professor at Hogwarts. She had her heart destroyed by someone she trusted completely in the past, why not Hermione too? Nothing was impossible, and that worked for both the negative and positive outlooks on life. The girls had lost track of each other, it seemed like their life was going in different directions at the time, no matter how much Ginny wanted to stay in Hermione's life; her schedule was just too busy. She had the chance of a lifetime to play with the Holyhead Harpies and she took it.

Ginny looked around at the mess, and reached for her wand that she had hidden in one of her kitchen drawers, and began to clean up the mess. It was time to move on; this apartment left too many bad memories for her to stay in anyway. She had shared a life with someone in this apartment before, but now all that remained were memories of the life she once lived. It was good that she was moving, on to bigger and better things Ginny supposed.

However shortly after having that though, she opened the drawer on her bedside table, and saw an all too familiar maroon, velvet box. She took the box in her hand, and toyed around with it, not opening it just yet, but thinking about what was inside. What lied inside contained only broken dreams, but she couldn't bring herself to throw it away, not yet anyway.

 _If she knew I bought an engagement ring, would I still end up this way?_ Ginny thought to herself. She had saved up for the ring that sat in the box for months now, just to put a down payment on it. She wasn't the richest woman in the world, but it was worth it to her. She planned to surprise her former partner with it for her birthday, but that day never came for Ginny. The ring was custom made, and inside the band had both of their names engraved. It had come too late though, by the time it arrived at her doorstep, through muggle mail of course, there was no one left to give it to. While Ginny was planning her entire future with this woman, she was planning it with someone else. What a complete fool Ginny was.

Her ex-girlfriend had no idea what Ginny had planned, and she never would. That would remain a secret that Ginny kept to herself. So why did she still have it? The object that held her broken spirit that died all those months ago. Ginny wondered the same thing, as she placed it back down in the drawer silently, turning away from it with warm tears pouring down her face as she let her emotions show for once. She would come back to it later.

…

Hermione spent the morning in an entirely different way. She'd been restless for most of the night, thinking constantly about Ginny and how gorgeous she looked. They shared something truly special, something electric; she knew neither of them could deny it. There was something there, but what happened? What stopped them from continuing what they both knew was going to happen?

The brunette found the thought both frustrating and exciting at the same time. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face when she thought about how close they were; the feelings that burned inside of her, the feeling of being watched by Ginny with such an electric stare turned her on like never before. There was something different about her that was certain. She only wished they had more time, the brief conversation they had at the wedding felt like it wasn't enough. She couldn't get enough of Ginny, and thinking about her coming to Hogwarts was so exciting. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had informed Hermione that Ginny was to arrive at Hogwarts later today; of course this was after Ginny had already gone. They asked her to look after Ginny, that she had been acting unlike herself lately and were truly concerned for her well-being.

Hermione hadn't felt this excited in years, especially over seeing someone. How could the prospect of just seeing someone bring so much joy to one's heart? She knew she was in trouble when she laid eyes on Ginny yesterday, but it was the kind of trouble she invited eagerly. She spent the remainder of the night before helping clean up after all the guests had left. It wasn't that long of a cleanup, especially considering that they all had wands to help them do the dirty work. After she cleaned, she apparated back to the grounds of Hogwarts, and took her time walking back up to the castle. She stared at the night sky and all its twinkling stars, pointing out each and every constellation that she could think of, and just smiled to herself. She was happy, even if things hadn't ended as she had hoped, there was something there. Someone to grow with, and build their relationship back up together. First, she needed to figure out just what was going on with Ginny though. She had to get to know her all over again, and wondered briefly how much she had changed.

Going to bed served to do no good for Hermione either, she picked up the clock that sat next to her bed, and saw that it was already five in the morning. It was early enough to get up and get the day started for Hermione, so she pushed the warm maroon and gold blankets off of herself, and decided to go for a morning walk. It was always calm in the morning hours, not many people roamed the halls, especially during the summer. That was all about to change though, soon enough the students would be pouring back in and it would start all over again.

She pulled a gray sweatshirt over her head, and reached for her blue jeans. It wasn't much, but it wasn't like anyone was out there judging a beauty pageant. She hadn't cared much about her appearance lately, and had to admit that she focused way too much on her career for the past few years. She hadn't been on a proper date in years, but she wasn't actively seeking anyone either. After her and Ron had their falling out, which she knew deep down would happen eventually, she just kind of gave up trying. Her faith in relationships slowly died inside of her, maybe she didn't realize it at the time, but the thoughts she carried with her about relationships recently were bitter and depressing. That was until last night, when that spark to her dull life came back in full force.

She never felt that way for anyone before, and was worried that her numbness had carried over to all aspects of her life. She never felt anything with Ron, the kisses were boring, and the sex was worse. She never felt anything exciting for anyone, except for Ginny. Looking back, every day she and Ginny spent together were never enough. She truly felt alive when Ginny was near. She came crashing back into her life yesterday, and made her feel things she never thought existed inside of her. Hermione was known to be hard to read, because she kept her emotions in all the time, but last night it was clear to anyone who wasn't drunk, that she had feelings for the red head.

Hermione made her way out of the chambers, and entered the hallways of Hogwarts. The torches were still lit, it was still dark outside, but that was perfectly fine with Hermione. She knew that daylight would break soon, but this was her time to herself. She took her time roaming the halls, quietly greeting the portraits that she passed along the way. They were either delighted to see her, or still sound asleep.

She made her way out of the front doors, and saw the soft glow of orange on the horizon, peaking its way through the trees. She didn't know where she was headed, but just decided to let her legs guide her. Thoughts of Ginny continued to invade her mind, especially when she looked off into the distance and saw the Quidditch pitch. She thought back to all the games she had gone to see Harry, Ron and Ginny play in. She went for all of them, but never took her eyes off Ginny. Secretly obsessing over the way the woman moved how strong she had to be to keep up with everyone. She wondered just how much power Ginny had in her hands. Of course she would only be stronger now. She blushed at the memory, and laughed at how silly it seemed to her all now. This woman really had her wound up.

Hermione made her way to the bank of the lake, and sat down on an old tree stump. She decided that watching the sunrise from here would be the perfect start to her morning. Although she was alone, and wished she had been waking up next to Ginny, this was quite peaceful. The cool morning air blew quietly around her as she listened to the sounds of nature come to life. Animals started to wake and search for food, the mermaids in the lake could be seen splashing around, and the sounds of various birds began to sing.

Hermione wondered why Ginny would quit Quidditch when she was so good at it. She was still young enough to play for a few more years, so why the sudden career change? Did she no longer enjoy the sport; did she suffer from some kind of injury and not tell anyone? The Ginny that she used to know would never give up on Quidditch, that was her life; that was what separated the two women in the first place.

She remembered the day Ginny told her that she made the team for the Holyhead Harpies, and would be moving at the end of the school year. She was so happy, Hermione hadn't seen her that happy in ages, especially after the death of her brother and the war. This was something Ginny always wanted, and her dreams were coming true for her. Even if Hermione was sad to know that her friend would no longer be in her life like she was that previous year, she was happy for her. She wished she could go back to that year and do it all over again, have it be just her and Ginny for the whole year, to never let her go. Time goes by though, whether we want it to or not, and the things we cherish will all slip out of our grasp eventually. It was all a matter of time.

It seemed as though fate had brought the two of them back together, they were now going to be neighbors. It was like redoing their final year together, only this time they were the professors. What would be in store for them this year? Hermione hoped that this second chance would be for the best, but then a crushing thought crossed her mind.

 _What if Ginny was in a relationship and that's why she pulled away from me?_ Her heart sank at the thought, and it made sense for her pulling away. It was the only thing she could think of at the moment, she had no idea what Ginny's life was like. They became strangers, as sad as that sounded.

The only way she would find out is by asking, and Ginny would be here soon enough to do that. She hoped that Ginny wasn't taken, but was almost certain that she was. Who wouldn't want to be with such a woman? Hermione sighed as she watched the sun come up, and felt the warmth touch her face. It was beautiful, there were no words to describe just how beautiful.

The sunrise was a beautiful thing; it was the start of a new day, and new beginnings. Maybe it would be a new beginning for Hermione as well; at least she hoped it would be.

* * *

 **A/N: I forgot to add this in the first chapter, so I will add it now. This is just a warning that the story will contain BDSM and self harm in it, I'm not entirely sure to what extreme I want to take it, but I will definitely warn before I post it in case there are any people out there who don't want to read those parts. Also, I would like to thank the people who encouraged me, or harassed me in my inbox, to write again, and to the wonderful review left by LoveHermione, thank you! :) I hope to get back into writing, and hope to make this story great. I know I have another story that's incomplete as well, and will try to get to it when I can. That's enough about me for now, but thank you all for reading. I appreciate it.**


	3. Chapter 3

Ginny tried as best she could to avoid the attention of the students, but failed miserably. She sat in the Great Hall at the staff table quietly waiting for the ceremony to begin, but every few seconds someone would either come ask for an autograph or stand there staring at the former Quidditch super athlete and try to get her to look back. She was polite enough to give in to every request and smile and wave at every curious face that came passing by, but she was rather tired of it all. She wished she could have a moment of peace. The feast would begin soon, and McGonagall would put a stop to this all. She just hoped it wouldn't be like this all year, and she knew the curiosity had to die down eventually, right?

The red headed woman had been a resident of Hogwarts for the past week, slowly moving all her stuff in and preparing her lesson plans for the upcoming year. This was something she wanted to take seriously; she ached for the distraction and something different to occupy her mind. She wasn't going to be the cool or easy professor, she was going to be strict and show her pupils how she was more than just an athlete. This new job offered a lot of new opportunities for her, and staying away from alcohol and sex was one of the things she needed most. She was thankful that McGonagall offered her this position. Ginny confided in her one night, told her everything that had been going on in her life and how miserable she had become, and McGonagall offered her a new chance, a new hope. Ginny thought of Headmistress McGonagall as a mentor over the last few years, and was one of the few people who she still communicated with during her Quidditch career. She was like her second mother. Ginny had a lot to be thankful for, all because of the kindness of her mentor.

All this time she'd been avoiding Hermione, trying her best to fight the urge she felt inside to go after her. She wanted to, but she felt that at this point in her life, it wouldn't be fair or right. She didn't even know if Hermione returned the same feelings, when they were younger she had a feeling they shared their love, but now she had no idea. Hermione could be a completely different person, just as Ginny was now. The urge she felt was growing stronger though, the ache she felt from not communicating with her would just have to be something she would need to get used to and deal with. Maybe Ginny was afraid of Hermione, afraid to get close, to open up, and to have the possibility of being broken again.

Speaking of Hermione, it was at this moment she came walking through the great hall, wearing her teachers' robes, and smiling to all the students who greeted her. It was clear that Hermione was a well-liked professor, but who wouldn't like someone as sweet as Hermione? Ginny's eyes were glued to Hermione once again; she couldn't help but stare at the woman. Her brain kept telling her to look away, pretend like she didn't care, but the beauty of the woman coming toward her was just too much for her heart to turn away from. This was going to be a difficult time for Ginny, she knew that already. What surprised Ginny though, is that Hermione hadn't tried to talk to Ginny this entire past week. Hermione had to know that she was there, so why didn't she say anything to her?

 _Does she not like me anymore? Why isn't she looking at me? Is there something wrong, did I upset her at the wedding? Why does it matter? Stop looking at her you idiot!_ Ginny fought the internal battle in her head, but her eyes never turned away.

That's when Hermione looked up, and their eyes met, causing that electric feeling to return to their bodies once more. Hermione stopped in her tracks, and bit her lip. She hesitated for a moment, before she shook her head lightly, smiled, and took another step forward. There was only one seat available at the staff table, and that just happened to be right next to Ginny, naturally.

Ginny's eyes followed Hermione as she walked around the table and approached the seat beside Ginny. "Hello Ginny, it's nice to see you again."

Ginny, who was staring up at Hermione like a puppy dog who wanted their owner to give them a treat, nodded her head, "Likewise. I've never seen you in teacher's robes before. You look wonderful."

Hermione smiled at that, and moved her head away slightly to cover her blush. She didn't want to show Ginny how childlike she was acting by blushing. She pulled back her seat and sat down. She could feel her entire body tingling, a warmth spread throughout her body, starting from the left, where Ginny was sitting, and flowing through her entire body. She felt good, she was calm.

"I'm not used to seeing you out of your Quidditch gear." Hermione commented, placing her cool hands on her cheek to try and subdue her blush. Her bushy hair acted as a cover momentarily, that is, until Ginny reached over and brushed her hair behind her ear. This only caused Hermione's blush to deepen.

"Oh, so you've seen me play? I hadn't thought you followed the games." Ginny commented, watching Hermione becoming redder by the second. It was strange how close she felt to Hermione even after all this time. It was like they never let go of each other. She left her hand next to Hermione's cheek for a moment, wanting to stroke her cheek, to touch her longer, but suddenly felt that would be out of place, and removed her hand completely. She placed her hand on her lap, and scolded herself for getting so close.

"I may not follow all the games, but I've seen you play every once in a while. What kind of fan would I be if I didn't see my favorite player at least every once and a while?" Hermione asked, feeling the Gryffindor courage build up inside of her. They only started talking a few minutes ago, but it was so easy to talk to Ginny. What happened to cause them to stop talking? Hermione couldn't think of a proper answer.

Ginny smiled, as hard as she tried not to, she couldn't help it. "I'm surprised to hear that."

Hermione sat up straighter in her chair when she realized that the first years sorting ceremony was about to begin. She turned to face Ginny, who was looking straight ahead at the first years entering the Great Hall, leaned in to her ear and whispered, "I'm full of surprises."

Ginny smirked at that, and looked at Hermione from the corner of her eyes. She was asking for it. "I'm looking forward to finding out what each and every one of them are."

That was when McGonagall began her speech, introducing the students to Hogwarts, welcoming them as warmly as she could. She then turned to the staff table and began to introduce the staff, each person standing up when their name was mentioned, and Ginny could feel what was coming when her name was mentioned. She stood up at the sound of her name and the crowd of students began to scream and chant her name, all while clapping. She waved at the students, acknowledging their cheers, and then sat down before it got too intense.

Hermione's name was called next, and the cheers died down slightly, and normal clapping of hands continued. Once she sat down, she looked at Ginny and said, "My my, the students certainly love you."

Ginny shrugged her shoulders, playing it off the best that she could, "I don't want to be known for just my Quidditch career."

"Oh, I'm sure the students will learn to straighten up eventually. They just have to get over being star struck. I know I'd have a hard time sitting through class with a super star as my professor." Hermione poked Ginny's sides with her index finger, causing her to flinch at the contact. She wasn't expecting that, and felt the warmth radiating where Hermione's hand just was.

Hermione pulled back ever so slightly to get a look at Ginny's reaction. She stared at the red head through her thick lashes, which caused Ginny's stomach to drop to the floor. Such a beautiful woman, what was she doing to her? Ginny promised herself she wouldn't feel again, wouldn't love another person the same again, but the feelings that were boiling inside of her right now were hard to deny.

Ginny was about to say something but bit her lip and nodded her head toward Hermione. Headmistress McGonagall was still talking and the sorting hat was getting ready to sing his song. Ginny would have to continue this conversation after the ceremony was over. She tore her eyes away from Hermione, and Hermione did the same. She knew she had to be professional, but the teenager inside of her was screaming to come out. She wanted to play with Ginny, in more than one way.

Hermione stared at the sorting hat as he began to bellow his song, and thought of all the things she wanted Ginny to do to her. She wanted her to pursue her, to feel wanted, to be loved by her. She wanted to feel just how strong Ginny was, surely with her athletic training she had to be an absolute knockout in bed.

She closed her eyes only for a moment, and pictured Ginny taking complete and utter control of her. She imagined Ginny pulling the chair Hermione sat in back against the wall, straddling her lap, taking her hands and slamming them against the wall above her head with such a powerful force that caused Hermione to shudder. She pushed hard into Hermione with her hips, and hungrily took her lips against her own, claiming them as her property, having her way with the brunette, to which Hermione eagerly obliged.

At that point Hermione sighed deeply, and Ginny cleared her throat. She opened her eyes and realized that she was leaning against the table with her elbow holding her head up, suddenly feeling embarrassed. What must Ginny be thinking about her?

"Are you alright there Hermione? You look a little…flustered." Ginny commented.

Hermione nodded her head silently, and removed her elbow from the table, cursing herself silently for being so careless. Her cheeks were burning scarlet. She wanted Ginny so bad, and the woman was sitting right next to her, like she was just waiting to be opened. She looked at the children in front of her and felt even worse for her thoughts. She couldn't be having these thoughts in front of the children, but when Ginny was right there next to her, it was so damn hard.

She dared to look over at Ginny, who was watching the children get sorted, and gave a cheer every time someone was sorted into Gryffindor. Hermione let her eyes trailed down Ginny's body, taking in each curve and shape to her body. She had lovely, round breasts that dipped down to reveal a flat stomach. She wondered what Ginny looked like beneath her teacher's robes, and ached to find out someday. Did she have muscles? Surely she had to have abs. She imagined her pale, freckled skin against her stomach, and died to know what it tasted like. Her tongue grazed her lips as she thought of sliding her tongue along each and every one of Ginny's freckles. Hermione's eyes trailed down even lower to her thighs, and she thought of what was between her legs and blushed furiously. She felt her cheeks burning as she began to sweat at the thought of spreading Ginny's pale, toned thighs, and getting a look at her up close as personal.

"Hermione?" Ginny questioned again.

 _Damnit! Stop thinking about this!_ Hermione yelled to herself, and tried to snap herself out of her trance. She took a deep breath, and looked up at Ginny, whose kind but tired eyes stared at her curiously.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ginny asked, placing a hand on Hermione's thigh, making the sensation she felt inside of her intensify. Hermione could feel her arousal pouring out from her core, and suddenly felt very embarrassed.

Hermione nodded her head calmly. She swallowed, and responded, "Yes, sorry I just lost my train of thought. I'm fine now."

Ginny raised her eyebrow slightly but chose not to say anything else. She removed her hand from Hermione's thigh, and Hermione frowned. She wished she would keep it there, always.

The sorting ceremony was over and it was now time to eat. Plates of food were revealed before them and the students chattering began to fill the quiet hall. Ginny removed one of the lids from the food trays in front of her and stared at the gloriously prepared chicken. She looked around and noticed all the other side dishes that came along with it, and she had to admit to herself, that this was one of the things she missed most about Hogwarts. It was good to be back.

"So Hermione, how have things been for you lately? I know we haven't had much time to talk, and I'm curious as to how you're doing." Ginny said as she began to pile food on her plate.

Hermione watched Ginny with a smile; it was like watching one of her memories playing out in front of her. "Oh, well where can I begin? It's been such a long time since we've actually spoken. You ran off from the wedding so fast that we really didn't have time to…reconnect."

Ginny stopped in her tracks for a second, but shook her head and continued speaking like nothing happened, "I know, sorry about that. I was in a hurry to get home and start packing. Anxious about the move, I suppose."

Hermione simply nodded her head, accepting the fact that Ginny wasn't going to bring up their almost kiss. "Well, what would you like to know about me, Professor Weasley?"

Hermione began eating her food as she waited for a response from Ginny, who had her mouth full of mashed potatoes at the moment. Hermione couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

Ginny smiled and swallowed her food, "Well, how has teaching been for you? How do you like it here? Do you have a lot of friends?"

Hermione tilted her head as she continued eating. "It's a wonderful job; I couldn't see myself doing anything else. I do have a lot of friends, yes."

Ginny nodded her head, "Oh yeah? Anyone I know?"

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows for a second, "Well just the other professor's mainly. You know Neville; he is the Herbology Professor here, as I'm sure you guessed from the ceremony."

Ginny looked down the table to see Neville chatting with a few other professors. He sure did grow into his looks. Suddenly, she felt jealous for no real reason. She looked back at Hermione and asked, "Are you two…you know?"

Hermione laughed, "Are we what?" She had a feeling she knew what Ginny was getting at but liked to tease her.

"Together" Ginny simply said, trying to convey being cool, calm and collected.

Hermione shook her head, "No"

Ginny wanted more information than that, but Hermione wasn't going to give it to her without asking for it. "Well…are you involved with anyone?"

Ginny suddenly felt very vulnerable asking this question. She had no idea who Hermione was with recently. She knew at one point her brother was her boyfriend, but knew nothing beyond that.

"Why do you want to know?" Hermione smiled, showing her beautiful white teeth to Ginny.

Ginny tried to contain the blush that was creeping up on her cheeks, "I'm just curious Hermione. I want to get to know you again."

Hermione nodded her head, "Right. Well to answer your question, No, I'm not involved with anyone. How about you, are you involved with anyone?"

"Oh, and why do you want to know?" Ginny laughed, feeling the relief in knowing that Hermione wasn't taken.

"Like you said, I'm curious…very curious." Hermione responded, placing her hand on the table, and giving her full attention to Ginny. She was terrified of what the answer would be, but was dying to know.

Ginny shook her head, "I haven't been in a relationship for several months. My last one didn't end well."

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that." Hermione said, but secretly was relieved.

"Yeah, maybe I'll tell you about it one day. For now, let's just enjoy the company of each other." Ginny wasn't ready to cross that road with Hermione, it scared her to think about telling anyone her past. It wasn't an easy one to handle, that was for sure.

"So why the sudden career change? I thought you loved Quidditch?" Hermione asked, taking the very obvious hint that Ginny didn't want to talk about her past relationship.

"I do love Quidditch, but I was getting burnt out from playing it so much. I just felt like I needed a career change, you know? Something different going on in my life. It was hard being so noticeable sometimes, I wasn't just another flower on the wall, I was Ginny Weasley, Quidditch star, and that's how everyone knew me and probably still does. I want to be known for more than that." Ginny responded, knowing there was more to the reason why she left the game, but she wasn't going to say, not now anyway.

Hermione nodded her head, "I can understand that. I didn't think my life would lead me to becoming an Arithmancy professor, but I absolutely love it. It may not be what people expected me to do after fighting in the war alongside Harry, but this is what I love. I love teaching, and I love Hogwarts."

Ginny smiled as she watched Hermione speak. She was so passionate about certain things, she remembered when they were younger, Ginny would pretend that she needed help with her homework and beg Hermione for help, just to watch her go on about her studies. She got lost in looking at Hermione's intense gaze or her coy smile when she realized Ginny wasn't always listening to her. She would point down at a particular section of the book and Ginny would look for a second, but her eyes bounced right back up to her gorgeous face. Hermione's brown eyes were always so warm, and held so much beauty and kindness.

"I know you love teaching. I remember how you used to try to teach me." Ginny smiled and turned her attention back to her food.

"You always spaced out though. I swear you were being difficult on purpose, just to watch me squirm." Hermione joked, remembering how Ginny never listened to her, but would just stare at her quietly. Those days of youth that they spent sitting by the fire of the Hogwarts common room, no one around but the two of them, and the text book that sat on the table in front of them. Ginny would then make the excuse that she was tired, and Hermione always offered her bed to Ginny. After the death of her brother, Ginny had night terrors, and hated sleeping alone. As the girls spent more time together, they slowly became inseparable. Where did it all go wrong?

"Oh Hermione, I always loved watching you squirm. It's so much fun, how could I resist such a wonderful temptation? The Hermione Granger, all frustrated and flustered because of me." Ginny laughed, trying to make light of the situation, but her thoughts took a different turn.

Hermione huffed, her core threatening to burst, Ginny was teasing her and she liked it. Hermione jerked around in her chair, rubbing her thighs together, and felt a small, insignificant release to the emotion she felt. She needed more; she wasn't going to last much longer sitting in the Great Hall soaking her panties over the red head. Her body began to tingle, and she knew she had to go soon. She looked at Ginny, who was calmly eating her food, but could see the corner of her lips turned in an upward smile.

"Ginny, I think I'm going to call it an early night. Something just came over me suddenly, and I have to go." Hermione stood up, and felt something warm and wet slide down the side of her thigh. Her face was burning red as she stared at Ginny, and wished that she would get the hint, but knew that wouldn't happen.

"Are you feeling okay?" Ginny asked, looking up at Hermione from her seat at the table. She reached out and grazed Hermione's hip with her hand, and held it there for a second. She was face to face with Hermione's hips, and could feel her warm skin beneath the thin teacher's robes.

Hermione closed her eyes and her hips moved forward slightly, but she told herself to snap out of it. She nodded her head slowly, and tried to speak, but only a rasp came out. She cleared her throat and tried it one more time, "I'm fine, I'll see you in the morning. You can tell me how your day went. I'm eager to hear about your first day."

Ginny let go of Hermione's hip, feeling sad when the contact between them was lost, but knew what she truly wanted to do to Hermione was out of line. Ginny nodded her head, "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow. Have a wonderful night."

"You too." Hermione replied, and then quietly made her way around the table and began walking down the hall to the main doors. Ginny watched with hungry eyes as the girl she craved exited the Great Hall in a hurry. The ache she felt inside burned, and the only thing that could cool herself off, was Hermione. She wasn't going to let that happen though, she couldn't. She would have to just figure out a way to get rid of the ache, there was no other way around it. She couldn't pursue Hermione, it wouldn't be right or fair to her. Why did it have to be so difficult?

She groaned to herself, and continued eating her food. Ginny was mentally kicking herself, and she knew this wasn't the last time Hermione would drive her crazy. Ginny was afraid that she couldn't trust herself to not go after the brunette. She had to resist there, it wouldn't be fair to Hermione. She was different, innocent, and didn't deserve someone as emotionally bottled up as Ginny.

The rest of the night was rather quiet, and after the children all went to bed in preparation for their first day tomorrow, Ginny found herself roaming the halls of Hogwarts. She remembered how destroyed the castle was right after the war and now, everything was restored to the way it was before. Like nothing had ever happened. Ginny wondered the halls where the ghost of her former self used to go to class, where she used to spend hours upon hours studying and practicing for the big game, where she spent precious days with Hermione, the girl she secretly loved. Who knew that it would all change one day? Who knew what crushing realities awaited her after Hogwarts, when her days of youth seemed so bright. She found herself walking down the corridor where her chambers were, and walked slowly past Hermione's door, wondering what she was doing in there and if she should knock. She knew they already said goodnight, but the pull to just be near the woman was so strong.

She took a couple of steps toward the door, and held her hand out for a moment, but wondered what the point of it would be. It was late; Hermione was probably already getting for bed or preparing her lessons for the first day. She dropped her hand, and made her way back to her own room. She opened the door and stared at the newly decorated room, maroon and gold were found throughout the room, old pictures of her as a teenager with her family and friends lined the bedside table, and her bed, as big as it was, had the most incredible blankets. Ginny could melt right into them, and just forget the world, which sounded good right about now. She was tempted to crawl into bed, but resisted. She had other things to do, she needed to get ready for tomorrow, make sure her plans were all squared away and perfect. She couldn't mess up on her first day, she had to be perfect, otherwise the students wouldn't take her seriously. She didn't want them to think she was an easy professor because of her former career.

Ginny looked at her desk, which faced the wall nearest to Hermione's chambers, thinking that now would be the perfect time to go bug her for help, but thought against it. All these tempting thoughts popped into her mind now that Hermione was right there, on the other side of the wall. All this time apart and now her school girl crush lived right next door to her. Ginny sat down on the maroon chair, and scooted forward. She took a look at her notes, going over what she was going to cover with each class and year. All of them required an introduction, but the more advanced classes would be given more work, that was only natural to assume.

She enjoyed throwing herself into her work, getting lost in something that wasn't her life, and soon enough she found herself writing notes and immersing herself into the world of Dark Arts. She always had a passion for the subject, she found it interesting, and was always eager to learn more. Though some of the things she read weren't meant for children's eyes, she had to find a way to teach the students without shocking them or terrifying them too much. It was good to be scared, but not to the point where the students become petrified. The wizarding world was a dangerous place, as Ginny learned firsthand, and was eager to teach each and every one of her students how to be prepared for an attack.

Ginny was in the middle of writing a sentence when she heard an odd noise coming from the wall in front of her. She looked up from her notes for a second, and listened for a moment, but not hearing anything else. She shook her head, and looked back down at her notes, finishing her sentence, but the noise returned, only this time it was louder. Ginny looked up at the stone wall, and wondered how anyone could hear anything through walls that thick. She set down her quill, and waited to hear the noise again. It was a low, mumbling noise. She stood up from her chair, curious from the noise, and quietly placed her ear against the cold, stone wall and listened.

It was Hermione; the tone of the voice gave it away instantly. Still, it was far too difficult to hear what she was doing. Was she talking to someone? Was she in pain? Was she…moaning?

Ginny pressed her head as hard as she could against the wall, but to no avail. The low mumbling continued, and Ginny stood there, curious as ever, wondering what in the world Hermione was doing. The curiosity was bubbling inside of her, and her mind was going crazy with all the things Hermione could be doing. She smiled, and tried to contain her laughter. She felt giddy, which was odd for Ginny. Quidditch players don't get giddy, they get tough. She grabbed some of the notes off of her desk, not fully thinking about what she was doing, and made her way out of her chambers, and toward Hermione's. It was as if her brain was on autopilot now. Of course when she was out here, she couldn't hear a peep coming from the room. Maybe there was some kind of air hole in between their walls which allowed Ginny to hear something.

She walked up to Hermione's door, and held her fist out, ready to knock. She hesitated for a moment, but thought to hell with it, and knocked on the door. The beast inside of her was hungry, and she wanted to see what Hermione was up to. She hoped it was something bad...then she would have a reason to punish her. The flip flop emotional roller coaster Ginny was fighting in her body was currently off track, she heard something she liked, and the primal desire in her boiled up inside.

Ginny could hear motion coming from the other side of the door, and quietly knocked on the door again. She was becoming impatient. The thick wooden door began to rattle, and she could hear the locks on the door turning. The door creaked open, and Hermione poked her head out of the door to see who it was.

Ginny stared at Hermione, trailing her eyes down her body and trying to get a better look at the brunette. She was wearing robes, but they weren't teacher's robes. This one was black silk, and Ginny stared at Hermione's shoulder, where the robe kept creeping down; revealing Hermione's perfectly pale flesh.

"Hi" Ginny smirked.

"Er…Ginny, what do I owe the pleasure?" Hermione stammered out. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were bright red.

 _She was doing something bad, I know it…_

"I was wondering if it wasn't too late, if you could help me go over my notes for tomorrow? I'm a bit nervous and don't want to mess up." Ginny lied.

Hermione stared at her for a second, "We just had a conversation earlier where you admitted that you never listened to me, and you want me to help you now?"

Ginny looked up at Hermione through her lashes, trying her best to play innocent. If Hermione only knew the wolf that waited patiently inside. "Please Hermione; I'm sorry about all that. You know I was only teasing you. Please, can I come in?"

Hermione furrowed her brows, and thought about what she was about to do. Ginny interrupted something very important to Hermione, but she had no idea the lead in her roleplay would be knocking at her door. The ache she felt still lingered, she hadn't fully relieved herself, but Ginny was here now. What was she going to do, turn her away?

Hermione huffed and opened the door for Ginny to enter. Ginny smiled, and hurried into the room before Hermione changed her mind.

Ginny entered the warm chambers, and looked around. She eagerly studied the walls, all the decorations that lined the otherwise cold, plain walls. Hermione was very neat and organized, that much was certain. Ginny just moved in but managed to make a mess of the place. She looked off to the corner, and saw Hermione's bed, a four poster bed with gold and maroon curtains tied to each post. The blankets were silk maroon, and they looked awfully comfortable. She noticed the bed wasn't made, the blankets were disheveled and the bedside table drawer was cracked open slightly, with some kind of material hanging out. The red head stopped in her tracks, and turned around to face Hermione with a smirk on her face.

Hermione shut the door and leaned against it, moving the robe over her chest self-consciously. Her robe was short, causing Ginny to feel something stir deep inside of her. Ginny knew she wasn't wearing anything underneath the robes because of the length alone.

"You have a rather nice set up here. I must say I'm jealous." Ginny gripped the notes in her hand tighter, glancing over the bed once more and realizing all the wonderfully devilish things she could do with a bed like that.

"Thank you." Hermione said quietly. She was so exposed to Ginny in this moment. She looked at the red head who stood a few feet away from her and wished more than anything she would come a little closer. Maybe Hermione's robe would slip off, or maybe Ginny would force it off…

"Where would you like me to set up my notes?" Ginny asked, hoping Hermione would say the bed.

"The bed is fine…I mean if you're okay with that?" Hermione asked, feeling her cheeks burn.

Ginny smiled, "Why wouldn't I be?" Ginny walked over toward the bed, and decided that she should remove her teacher's robes. She removed the robe, disliking the idea of such a hideous costume, and revealed that she was wearing black slacks, with a matching black, button up vest and a white button up underneath it. She had decided to wear heels that evening, but was regretting that decision and felt it was okay to remove them in Hermione's presence. Just like old times.

Ginny laid out her notes on the bed after she sat down, and looked up to see that Hermione was still standing by the door, just staring at her.

"Are you coming over here? Or am I going to have to shout what's on the notes to you?" Ginny laughed. She could see the desire in Hermione's eyes. Ginny felt like a cat that was teasing its prey just before she was about to eat it.

Ginny glanced into the drawer that was slightly open, and that's when Hermione came running up to the bed, shutting the drawer and placing her rear end against the table before Ginny even had a chance to ask any questions. She did not want Ginny to see what was in the drawer, which of course, made Ginny want to know even more.

Hermione leaned against the table and smiled down at Ginny, who just chuckled for herself. They couldn't play this game forever, so Ginny decided to go ahead and talk about the notes. "So tomorrow is the first day….what I was thinking of doing was going over the outline of what the kids are to expect this upcoming year. When exams are, what chapters we will be studying, things like that. Then I was going to issue books to each of them, and go over part of the first lesson. I don't want them to get in too over their heads on the first day, so I'm not really sure what a good stopping point would be. Should I give them homework on their first day, and if I do, should it be just a simple reading assignment, or should it be an essay? What are your thoughts?" Ginny asked. The more she spoke the more she realized she really did need Hermione's advice.

Hermione's shoulder's dropped and she relaxed slightly, and she smiled. She looked down into Ginny's warm brown eyes and melted a little bit inside. "I think what you have is perfect as far as letting them know the outline of the course. That's what I do with my students, that way, if they have any questions or try to complain that there wasn't enough time for their assignment; I can always point back to the outline, leaving them with no excuse. As far as homework, I would say it depends on how advanced the class is. You're going to have a stricter set of rules in each class, so I would hand out more work to the upper levels, and maybe give the younger years less. They are still new to Hogwarts, and we don't want to overwhelm them on their first day. As teachers we have to remember that they have other classes as well, and we may not know how much work is given to them in each course. If your students have me for a course, then they're going to have a lot of homework from my class alone. I don't take to slacking, or letting things slide." Hermione moved from the table, and sat down on the bed next to Ginny. Her arms went from being crossed across her chest and guarded to supporting her weight on the bed, leaning in toward the red head.

"I don't want students to think I'm easy because of my former career." Ginny said quietly.

"Don't let them think that. Some may be thinking that since they have a former Quidditch super star as a professor that all you're going to do is talk about the sport and let them slide, but you don't have to fit that mold. Break it before it can even begin. Defense against the Dark Arts is a tough subject, as I'm sure you already know." Hermione said.

Ginny nodded her head, momentarily forgetting about what Hermione was wearing, and actually engaging in conversation with her. "Snape was so brutal on all of us, but it was for our own safety. I guess I am just afraid of the curse."

Hermione raised her eyebrows, "Oh Ginny, don't tell me you still believe that nonsense. Just because former professors didn't last in the position, which I might add for very different reasons, doesn't mean you will be. Come on, I'm sure you'll do a great job." Hermione placed her hand on Ginny's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"I'm nervous I won't be good. I know the material in my head, but teaching it to others, having them rely on me for life saving information; it's going to be difficult. I'm just worried. I want to be good at my job." Ginny looked down at Hermione's hand, and then back at the brunette. She chose to keep her hand there.

"You'll do a good job Ginny. I know you will." Hermione said quietly.

"How do you know?"

"Because you care. I can see it in your eyes; I can hear it in your voice. You're not going to let the children down. Tomorrow is the first day, for you and some of the students. It's going to be nerve-racking, but once you get over tomorrow, I promise you it's going to get better and easier. I've been doing this for years now, my first day of teaching I was an absolute mess. I didn't even have any notes for the first day. You're way ahead of where I was when I first started."

Ginny leaned in closer to Hermione's hand which was now stroking Ginny's arm lightly. The soft sensation of Hermione's finger tips grazing against Ginny's skin felt wonderful. Such a simple touch of the hand could do so much for a person. Human contact was something Ginny sorely missed. Hermione truly cared about her, she could feel in the way she touched her.

"If you ever have any questions, you can always come to me. For anything at all...I'd like to get back to where we were before." Hermione admitted.

Ginny met Hermione's eyes, feeling the small wave of electricity course through her body. Suddenly she felt terrible for having dirty thoughts about Hermione. She was more than a piece of meat, more than just sex or someone she could tie up and punish for her own sexual gratification. Hermione was different, she always knew that.

"I'd like that too…I missed you so much. I never even realized just how much I missed you until I had you back in my life. You were my best friend…what happened to us?" Ginny asked more to herself than toward Hermione.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not even sure myself. Life happened, I suppose. Things like that happen."

She looked deeper into Ginny's eyes and saw something she hadn't noticed before. There was something else that was troubling Ginny, she could clearly see the worry and hurt that she held inside herself. Her eyes weren't as bright as Hermione remembered, they used to shine with happiness, practically glow as she smiled. All that seemed to remain was the ghost of the girl that Hermione used to know. Something happened to her, something Ginny wasn't going to tell Hermione. When did Ginny stop smiling? Was it something gradual, where little by little she just stopped finding happiness in things, or was it all at once, the kind of soul crushing shock that once it happens, you never really seem to heal properly?

"Are you alright Ginny? Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Hermione asked, moving her hand from Ginny's shoulder to her cheek, without even thinking about it. She stroked Ginny's cheek as she leaned into it. Ginny's eyes shut, but the traces of sadness still lingered on her face as she pushed into Hermione's hands like an animal desperate to be pet.

Ginny remained silent, aching for more affection from Hermione. It felt nice, it felt right. This was a feeling she hadn't felt in ages, the feeling of being loved by another, even if it may only be friendly, was something Ginny rarely had these days.

"Ginny?" Hermione asked quietly.

Ginny sighed, knowing that she couldn't stay in this position forever. She opened her eyes slowly and stared at Hermione, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. "I'm okay Hermione. I just miss you. I miss a lot of things about my old life. I wish I could go back and…" Ginny shook her head, stopping herself from continuing further.

"You wish what?"

"Nothing…I should go. It's getting late." Ginny said, collecting her notes and attempting to stand up from Hermione's bed. She didn't want to go, she really didn't, but she couldn't stay. She might feel too much if she did.

"Are you sure? You know you can always stay with me." Hermione suggested, suddenly worried about Ginny. She had only gotten a peak of what was contained inside the red head, but she knew there was something wrong. Something terrible had happened to Ginny.

"It's okay Hermione, I'll be alright. I'll see you in the morning, good luck with your classes tomorrow." Ginny said. It was like deja vu, she was not looking at Hermione, but facing away from her as she spoke. She walked toward Hermione's door, and let herself out without another word.

Hermione stared at the door, hoping she would come back any second, come running into her arms, come tell her what was wrong, but she knew that wouldn't happen. Hermione sighed, and that's when she noticed Ginny left her teacher's robes behind. She was in such a hurry to leave, that she forgot about them. She thought about going to give them back, but figured Ginny wanted to be alone.

So Hermione turned off her lights and prepared herself for bed. She removed her robe to reveal that she had not been dressed underneath, and crawled into bed. Maybe it seemed silly, or just plain weird to some people, but Hermione clung to Ginny's teacher's robes and inhaled deeply. In that one breath, she was reminded of all things wonderful about Ginny. Images of their past came flooding into her mind, and she allowed herself to just think about the red head, and all the days they used to spend together. All the while wondering in the back of her mind, how was she going to help Ginny? How could she help her if she didn't know what was wrong to begin with? Would Ginny let her in? Would Ginny give her a chance?

She hoped she would, but only time would tell how things played out between the two women. And with that, Hermione fell asleep, with dreams flooded with red hair and laughter, which could only belong to Ginny Weasley.


	4. Chapter 4

It's funny how something that was once cherished could be turned into something toxic, something that haunts you. Laughter, for instance, could be taken many different ways. It could be a fond memory, or a toxic reminder of what life used to be, before it was all taken away. Ginny struggled that night, laughter invading her dreams, seeping in from deep within her mind, forcing her to face the demons she tried to bury. A familiar face came closer to Ginny, took her cheek delicately into her hand, and kissed her gently against the lips. The warmth of her lips, the sting of passion she felt against her former lover's lips all came rushing to Ginny's attention. A typically warm sight to see, but for Ginny it was torture. Why did her mind have to bring this memory up again? Why did this face that she tried so hard to forget make its presence known in her dreams? Why can't she just forget?

Ginny woke early, about an hour earlier than she planned. She opened her eyes slowly, realized that her vision was only a dream, and sighed. She was irritated by the dream, the sight of her ex fiancée made her angry, to the point where she almost hated going to sleep because she knew she would be the lead role in her dreams. Sometimes they were pleasant dreams, dreams of when they were happy, but most of the time, they were reminders of the events that played out when Ginny was left behind. It's not enough that the reminder of not being good enough played on repeat in the back of her mind all day, she couldn't even sleep peacefully.

Ginny sat up, knowing she wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, especially with the day that was ahead of her. It was a big day, a day that would prove many things. Would she be good enough as a professor? Would the students respect her? Or would everything come crumbling down, just as she was used to.

 _I need a drink._ Ginny thought to herself.

The red head stumbled around her room, gathering her belongings to prepare for the day. She was going to take a nice warm bath, and thankfully for the professors, they didn't have to share their bathrooms with students. She did however have to share a bathroom with the other professors, female of course. The thought hadn't really crossed her mind that she would be sharing a bathroom with Hermione, until now. She walked down the hallway, crossed Hermione's room, figured she was most likely still asleep due to the time, and continued to the bathrooms, hoping it was empty.

Ginny thought of all the nights they spent together at the Burrow, the times where Ginny would ache to see what Hermione looked like beneath the hot droplets of water, to be able to touch her smooth, wet skin. The red head recalled spending many nights exploring her own body at the thought, wishing more than anything that Hermione would find her, discover what she was doing, and lend her a helping hand. One particular night crossed Ginny's mind as she entered the bathroom and saw that it was, in fact, empty.

She felt comfortable enough now, and sighed in relief. She made her way toward the showers, which lined the left side of the wall, with the baths to the right. The actual toilets were toward the front of the room, with a wall blocking the view between the actual bath room and toilets. She found the shower in the back corner of the room, and turned the knobs, making the water as hot as she could.

She tested the water with her hand, and recoiled when the boiling water touched her finger tips.

 _Perfect._ Ginny thought to herself as she disrobed, and stepped into the shower. Now back to her previous thoughts. Ginny thought back to when she was sixteen; there was one summer night Hermione spent with her at the burrow, which the red head would never forget for as long as she lived. At the time, it was the most erotic moment of her life. Although nothing happened, the insinuation, the desire, was there.

Ginny had just gotten through playing Quidditch outside with her brothers and Harry, and came in the house soaked and covered in sweat. The boys still continued to play, and her parents were out together on what they called date night, so they were completely alone that night. Ginny wondered where Hermione had run off to, she was watching them play for a while, but must've become bored and left. She figured that Hermione probably went to go read somewhere in silence, but Ginny wanted to find her. She wanted to bug her, get on her case about not watching her play. Ginny, of course, was trying to show off for Hermione, show her all her moves and strength and the brunette couldn't even be bothered to stick around and watch.

 _How rude was that?_ Ginny's younger self thought.

The water in the shower was burning against Ginny's skin as her hands began to roam her body in places she hadn't touched in months. Feelings she hadn't felt in ages, well since she stopped talking to Hermione, began to bubble up inside of her as she continued to remember the past.

"Hermione?" Ginny called out once she got inside the house. There was silence. No one was in the living room or kitchen, she had to be upstairs. Maybe she was in Ginny's room, reading on her bed. Ginny imagined running in her room and jumping on Hermione, covering her in sweat, and laughed at the thought.

She crept up the stairs, deciding it would be funny to surprise and maybe even frighten Hermione, if she hadn't already heard her. She took to the stairs as quietly as she could; practically tip toeing to up the different flights until she reached her destination. She saw that the door to her room was shut, and approached as quietly as she could. She turned the knob, and slowly opened the door. Although the door creaked tremendously, Ginny opened the door and realized that Hermione wasn't in there either. She furrowed her brows, and wondered where she could be. That's when she heard the dull sound of water, and turned her attention to the bathroom down the hallway. The light was on…and the door was cracked open.

Without really thinking about it, Ginny made her way toward the bathroom quietly. Her heart was racing in her chest as she thought about the scene on the other side of the door. Was Hermione really taking a shower with the door open? Ginny approached the door, and tried to look inside to see what was going on. She could hear Hermione humming something, she definitely was in there, but Ginny wasn't able to see anything.

She didn't think about any repercussions, she just thought about how bad she ached to see Hermione naked. Ginny placed her hand on the door, and pushed it open just enough for her to see what was going on. Of course, being at the burrow, the door squeaked loudly, and Hermione gasped. Ginny stood there for a moment, not really seeing anything because the shower curtain was solid, not see through.

"Who's there?" Hermione asked.

"I'm sorry Hermione; I didn't mean to walk in on you. I'll just shut the door." Ginny instantly regretted her decision, feeling rather humiliated at the moment.

"Ginny? Oh thank God it's you, I was afraid it was one of the boys trying to peep at me." Hermione laughed.

Ginny stood there not really knowing what to do, wanting to stay but wanting to leave at the same time. Hermione moved the shower curtain enough so that her head stuck out. Her hair was soaking, shampoo bubbles ran down her shoulders and arms as she smiled at Ginny.

"Are you all finished playing with the boys now?" Hermione asked.

Ginny nodded her head, unable to take her eyes away from Hermione's skin. It was such a glorious sight, she was so beautiful.

"Did you come up to play with me now?" Hermione asked, blushing furiously, but giggling at the same time.

Ginny opened her mouth to respond but only ended up stuttering. She had no idea what to say, but by the suggestive way Hermione was staring at her; she knew exactly what she meant.

"Oh I'm just teasing Ginny. Can you do me a favor? I forgot my soap on the sink, would you hand it to me, please?"

Ginny tore her eyes away from Hermione to locate the bar of soap that was in fact on the sink. Ginny took the soap in her hands and approached Hermione slowly, feeling the warm mist against her face as she approached the shower and the girl of her dreams. She held out her hand for Hermione to take the soap, but Hermione wasn't budging. She stood there and waited for Ginny to come even closer.

This had to be done on purpose. Hermione must've known she was coming and planned this…

Ginny took a step closer and Hermione's wet hand gripped Ginny's arm, pulling her even closer. Her feet knocked up against the base of the bath, and Hermione stared deeply into Ginny's eyes, who must've looked like a sweaty, horny mess.

She took the soap out of Ginny's hands, smiled, and said, "I promise I'll be out of the shower in just a few minutes. I know you're aching to get in here."

She watched Ginny as she closed the shower curtain, and once again began to hum the same tune she was before. Ginny stood there for a second, dripping wet, not knowing what to do. The invitation was there, wasn't it? How could she resist such an offer?

However Ginny pulled away, took the few steps it required to get out of the bathroom, and shut the door quietly behind her. She found it hard to breathe, her chest was pounding, her limbs were weak, she needed to do something, anything to get some kind of release from the pent up emotion she held inside. Ginny leaned against the door of the bathroom, cursing herself already for not taking action, but not wanting to misunderstand the brunette either and end up ruining things between them. If only she knew Hermione was on the other side of the door, hoping with everything she was that Ginny would come back in.

Ginny ran to her room at that moment, finding the ache much too strong to resist, slammed the door shut behind her, and moved her hands beneath her pants, beneath her panties, in between her soaking wet folds. She cried out in pleasure at the contact, furiously seeking relief. She thought of Hermione's wet skin, her soaking wet body that was right in front of her, the things she said, and it drove her over the edge within less than a minute. She found herself shaking as the glorious first wave of her orgasm came crashing down on her, coursing through her body slowly, moving through all her limbs. She continued to explore her body as the next, more powerful orgasm caused her to moan loudly. She tried to cover her mouth, but it didn't really matter who heard her. Her orgasm spread through her body, relaxing her muscles, causing her body to go limp from the release.

She stopped moving, her hand still rested inside of her pants as she tried to catch her breath. Hermione Granger had successfully driven her crazy, had wound her up, and teased her with her naked, wet body. Hermione had control of the whole situation, which is something Ginny wasn't particularly fond of, and wanted to get back at her for causing such distress. There would be plenty of moments in the girl's future where they would tease each other like this, even now; it seemed the game between them was still going on.

Ginny, was now rubbing painfully close to her sex as the shower washed the soap away from her body. She had no idea how long she'd been in there thinking about Hermione, but she could feel how slick she had become between her legs. It felt so good to think about something else, someone else. That memory was almost ten years ago and it was still burned in her mind. Ginny was thankful for Hermione, in a way. That was the beginning of her transformation, whether she realized it or not. She craved to be in power, she craved to control.

It was at that moment that the door to the bathrooms closed shut, and someone else came in. Thinking nothing of it, Ginny continued to shower, figuring the person was there minding their own business, getting ready for their own day. She heard the sound of lazy footsteps approaching the showers. They were dragging against the cold, hard floor. Someone was still tired. She heard the sound of the shower faucet squeaking a few stalls away from her, and then the sound of pouring water soon after.

The red head pondered finishing where she left off, but she knew she couldn't fully enjoy it with someone else in the same room. She was about to turn off the shower water when she heard the person humming. The sound of the voice and the particular tune she was singing made it clear who was taking a shower. Of course, it had to be Hermione.

Ginny froze for a second, wondering what the brunette was doing up so early. Did she know that Ginny was in here? The hum was exactly as she remembered it all those years ago. How could she forget? She felt her face burning as she thought about Hermione just a few feet away, both of them wet, and vulnerable. She could easily go in there and show Hermione all the ways she could make her moan…She wanted to get back at Hermione for what she did all those years ago, didn't she? Now was the time to do it, wasn't it?

Ginny stood there in the shower, her whole body turning as red as a tomato, conflicted about what to do. Her body knew what she wanted, but her mind was fighting her. Something about Hermione made Ginny want to hold back, even still. She was terrified of the brunette, terrified of touching her and never wanting to let go. Hermione was the only person who ever made her feel that way, and she thought she had gotten over that feeling years ago, but it seems that wasn't the case.

What was Ginny going to do?

She quickly washed off the rest of her body, made sure the shampoo was out of her hair, and grabbed the towel that hung just outside the stall. She wrapped it around her body, and turned off the water in the shower, quietly stepping out. That is when she regretted choosing the last stall in the room, because now she had to walk right past Hermione. Maybe if she was quiet enough, she wouldn't notice anyone walking by.

Ginny gathered her belongings, and began walking toward the exit. She took tiny, light steps toward the door, approaching the stall that Hermione currently resided in. The sweet sounds of her humming continued, and she seemed lost in her own world. Ginny moved closer, taking extra care not to make a sound near Hermione, and could feel the sweet sensation of relief once she walked past her stall. The door was only a few steps away when she realized the humming had stopped, and had been replaced with the sound of, "Ginny?"

Ginny stopped dead in her tracks and without turning around replied, "Yes?"

"You left your teacher's robes in my room last night. I brought it with me because I saw you coming in here earlier, and thought you might like it before classes begin." Hermione said sweetly.

Ginny raised her eyebrow, wondering how she knew she was in here, but let it slide. She took a deep breath, and turned around to see Hermione sticking her head out of the stall, wearing nothing at all. Of course, Ginny only got to see the tips of her shoulder's and her head, as she pointed to the teacher's robe that hung just outside the stall.

The red head nodded her head, and slowly started walking back to her stall, carefully training her eyes to look away from Hermione. She could feel her cheeks burning as she reached out for the robe, and thanked Hermione.

"I'll see you at breakfast, thank you Hermione." Ginny said, quickly turning around without giving the brunette another glance.

This was getting to be too much and the school year hadn't even started yet. She knew she kept asking herself this question, but how was Ginny ever going to get through the school year without having Hermione? She wanted to devour every inch of her body, and claim it as her own. It was torture to try and curb her desire. Ginny practically raced out of the bathroom, hoping that Hermione still wasn't watching her. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she couldn't help but try to catch her breath. What was this woman doing to her?

…

Later that morning Ginny found herself eating her breakfast as fast as she could, she felt the stress beginning to build inside of her, and the tension in her back was killing her. She had to think of it like the beginning of a big match, she knew she had control of the situation; she just had to realize that she was. It was in her mind, and once she knew she had a grip on things, everything would be okay, wouldn't it? She had everything prepared, all her notes were waiting in her new classroom, and she was prepared for this as far as knowledge went, but as far as experience, she was unsure. She kept thinking what if she had made a mistake? What if this wasn't the right career path for her? What if she had no idea what she was doing?

Ginny sighed into her plate of eggs, and was interrupted when Hermione plopped down next to her, "What's the matter?"

The brunette could tell something was wrong from a mile away, and she felt this was a topic she could possibly help with.

"I don't know if this is right for me Hermione. What if I don't know what I'm doing? What if I tell them the wrong information?" Ginny said, feeling comfortable talking about this particular subject, even if she happened to be repeating herself from the night before.

"You'll do fine Ginny. You're brilliant, and knowledgeable. I have no doubt that you are the perfect fit for the position. The kids already love who you are, there's no need to panic." Hermione helped herself to eggs and bacon, but kept her gaze on Ginny.

"I don't think I can do this." Ginny admitted, suddenly feeling sick.

"Ginny, once you get past the first class, the first minute of your first class, you'll realize that you've got this. I have complete faith in you. Trust me Ginny. I was terrified my first day of teaching, but I realized it's not as hard as I thought it would be. The students aren't as scary or mean as you'll think they'll be. Sure there will be bad eggs, but you're a former professional Quidditch player, right? Think of them as your team mates, and you have to lead them to victory. That might sound cheesy, but it's a similar situation, isn't it?" Hermione tried her best to relate to Ginny's situation and make it easier on the poor girl.

Ginny nodded her head, "Yeah, it is similar, isn't it?"

She realized she'd been acting silly about the entire ordeal, and was afraid that she had opened herself up too much. She had to have control, how could she have control if people knew what her problems were?

"There you go Ginny, once you get past the first day; you'll realize it's easier than you think. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and I know you know that." Hermione smiled and began eating her eggs.

The Great Hall was full at this point; everyone was present, students included. The first day was always a nervous day, because no one knew what to expect, and this included Ginny. She ate the rest of her eggs, and waited patiently for her 8 o clock class to begin. First years, so they would have to be easy to get their attention, right?

She was thankful for Hermione's help, and she really didn't know what she would do without her here. Ginny really missed their friendship. She looked toward Hermione and noticed that someone she hadn't seen before stood next to her, looking down at her and saying something in Hermione's direction.

"All prepared for the day, Ms. Granger?" The female asked. The very attractive female, Ginny noticed.

Hermione smiled, "As always, and you Ms. Jones?

"Oh, I'm always ready. And you're Ms. Weasley, I presume?" The raven haired woman with green eyes stared directly at Ginny.

The red head nodded her head, "I am. And you are?" Ginny asked.

"Amanda Jones, Astronomy professor. I'm also the Quidditch coach." She smiled politely at Ginny, but seemed to focus most of her attention on Hermione.

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Jones. Maybe we can discuss the game sometime; I'd love to see how you coach." Ginny said, not really meaning it, but trying to be polite. She didn't like the way she had her hand resting on Hermione's shoulder.

"I'd absolutely love that! The children would too. Well I must be going now, lots to do today. I'll see you later for tea, Mione." She winked at Hermione, who blushed slightly. She nodded in Ginny's direction and dismissed herself.

She was instantly jealous. Ginny could feel her blood boiling, and felt as though her territory had been crossed.

"Mione?" Ginny asked, poking the little crumbs of eggs that remained on her plate with her fork, even though there wasn't much there.

"We're good friends. Both of us have been teaching here for a few years now." Hermione felt as though she had to make it clear, without being blunt, that they were just friends.

Ginny was angry, and tried her best to not let Hermione see it. She nodded her head, and responded. "I see. I don't remember her from school. I don't remember her being here last night at the ceremony."

"Amanda makes her own rules, I suppose. She is somewhat of a rebel, doesn't like the opening ceremony. And that's because she is younger than us, by a couple of years. Of course we wouldn't have known her, but she certainly knew who I was." Hermione smirked.

Ginny huffed, and rolled her eyes. She didn't like this Amanda Jones, not at all.

The girls sat there awkwardly for a few seconds, the silence radiated between them, neither knowing what else to say. There was so much to say, but at the same time, there was nothing. Breakfast was now over, the students began to leave, and so did the professors. It was time to start the day, and Ginny's nerves came rushing back all of a sudden. She thought she had it under her belt, she thought she could control her nerves, but her body told her otherwise.

"Would you like me to walk you to your class?" Hermione asked, seeing the nerves return to Ginny. It was obvious she was afraid.

Ginny shook her head and stood up from her seat, "No, that's alright Hermione. I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"I agreed to see Amanda for lunch in her chambers, but I'll see you later in the afternoon." Hermione watched Ginny's face drop momentarily, but turned away before she could see anymore.

"Alright. Have a good day." Ginny said quietly, walking away from Hermione and making her way out of the great hall. She felt so alone in that moment, she didn't want to go any further, and she had to force her legs to move forward. She had no idea why she was so incredibly nervous; this wasn't like her, not at all. Although Ginny was fighting herself to get to her classroom, she made it eventually. The door was open, and of course there were students already waiting inside.

Ginny took a deep breath, looked back into the hallway, one last glimpse of freedom, one last chance to run away. She turned toward the classroom and walked inside.

They were all first years, so small, so innocent. The look on their faces was a mix of nerves and excitement. The children began to mumble amongst themselves excitedly when they saw Ginny walk in, and she instantly relaxed. They reminded her of her fans that always waited for her to sign autographs after the game. In that moment, just looking at the faces of the children, she knew she could do this.

"Good morning everyone. Welcome to Defense against the Dark Arts. My name is Ms. Weasley, and I'll be your professor for the year." Ginny said as broadly as she could. Her voice hid the feelings she held inside, a loud, confident tone erupted through the class, getting everyone's attention. She was used to getting people's attention, especially when she was out on the field, calling out to her teammates.

"Good morning Ms. Weasley." Some of the children responded.

"Now, I'd like to get this out of the way as fast as I can. I know most of you probably know me from the Holyhead Harpies, am I correct?" Ginny asked.

Some responded with nods, and some responded with "Yes"

"Now I would love to chat about Quidditch with anyone, and offer any advice to any of you who might want to try out for the team, but understand that any conversation or mention of Quidditch will strictly be outside of this classroom. This is a subject that you must all take seriously, it could potentially save your life one day, and I'll not tolerate slackers. If I catch anyone out of line, or not paying attention, there will be severe repercussions, and you don't want to get on my bad side. Have I made myself clear?" Ginny began to pace back and forth in front of the classroom, making eye contact with each and every student.

"Yes" was the response.

"Now, does anyone have any questions before we begin?" Ginny no longer felt nervous, she knew she had this under her belt. Her worries melted away as she continued to talk, and realize that she had control of this situation, something she craved at all times. The students were all attentive; all eyes were glued to her.

None of the students raised their hands. "Alright, let's begin." Ginny smiled.

…

The rest of the day went by like a breeze. Ginny went to lunch, spoke personally with some of the students who were in her class, spoke to a few students who were interested in Quidditch and continued the rest of her classes in the afternoon. Her nerves faded, and she suddenly felt much better about her ability to teach. Her mind wandered to what Hermione was doing, but keeping busy seemed to ease her mind. It was good for her to keep busy, to keep distracted. Her jealous tendencies got the better of her at times, and she didn't want Hermione to see that side of her. She wanted to focus on her career, not a relationship. Ginny felt that was the last thing she needed in her life right now.

It was later that evening Ginny found herself walking along the banks of the lake, thinking back on the events from the day. The warmth of the sun bathed her skin, and she felt as though she was able to relax. The students took her seriously, they didn't slack off, and there weren't any trouble makers. She knew that the sore students would stick out over time, but she knew she could handle it.

In this moment, she didn't need validation from anyone else, she didn't need anyone else to encourage her, nor cheer her on. She did this by herself, and she was proud of what she accomplished. Ginny was comfortable being on her own, holding her own weight, and not having another person or partner to help her along the way. She had to get used to be single, being alone. There was no need to have a romantic partner, and as far as Ginny was concerned, she had no intention of having one…or she felt that way before Hermione came back into her life. Why did love have to be so damn confusing? Why did things like feelings have to get in the way? One minute she felt like maybe, just maybe, Hermione cared about her, and the next she was convincing herself that Hermione was only going to break her heart.

The wounds she held inside of herself, the scars from her previous heartbreak convinced her that no one truly cared about her. How could anyone care for someone like her? How could anyone ever stay in her life, and prove that they actually wanted to be there when in the past, everyone left. Where were they when she needed someone the most? Where were they when she couldn't pick herself up off the floor? Where were they when she held a knife to her throat, sobbing her eyes out, wondering if anyone would even notice that she was gone?

Ginny knew she couldn't blame anyone else for the things she did to herself, the pain she caused herself, both mentally and physically. Her mind sought to blame, but she knew no one held a knife to her throat. It was her own doing. When she felt the blade poking against her skin, and the warm drip of the blood running down the blade of her knife, to the tip of her finger, it scared her. She knew she couldn't go through with it, no matter how much she ached, or cried. Every waking moment was like torture; the thought of being so unloved, so abandoned and left behind was still not enough for her to go through with it. Something told her to stay. Something told her to be stronger.

Nobody knew of Ginny's suicide attempt, and no one knew just how much she hurt on the inside. She was hollow, emotionless to most people. A defense mechanism she learned a long time ago. It was only when she was alone, that she truly felt free enough to show her pain. She can't expect people to be there or help her when she hid her hatred so easily. Ginny felt like a ghost of a person she once was, which must not have been that much to begin with. People always left her, so why should she give anyone else a chance? Why should she let people in if it only causes more pain? She had to stop lying to herself. She wanted Hermione, but she didn't want to get hurt anymore.

That's when thoughts of the brunette came flooding back to Ginny. Thoughts of her spending time with Amanda Jones crossed her mind, wondering what they really did during their precious tea time. Did Amanda make Hermione's tea just right? Did they nibble of biscuits and giggle like school girls? Did they nibble on each other?

Ginny groaned, picked up a large stone from the bank, and hurled it into the lake out of anger and frustration, not caring if it happened to hit a mermaid, or some other magical creature. She thought that it would make her feel better, but she just felt empty.

Amanda angered her, even though the girl had done nothing wrong, Ginny felt as if she hated her. It seemed as though Hermione was always right under her nose, but someone or something was always in the way. Why did it have to be that way? Why couldn't she just have her?

…But then again, why was Ginny even concerned. She just tried to convince herself she didn't need anyone, and that she was content living the rest of her days alone. Something was wrong with her, she wasn't worth anyone's trouble. Ginny was damaged goods, who would want her?

What was Ginny to do?


	5. Chapter 5

The days seemed to pass in a blur. All of a sudden, the temperature began to change, warmer weather turned cool. Leaves began to change color and started to fall delicately from their branches. The crunching of leaves could be heard beneath her feet as Ginny roamed the outskirts of the forest, wandering toward the Quidditch pitch. Her Quidditch boots still fit like a charm, the worn down black leather boots squished with each step she took, closer and closer to her past. It was a Friday afternoon, the school day was over, and Ginny was relieved…somewhat. She was adapting well to her new career, and although there were ups and downs with certain students, she had a good hold on them, and knew how to teach the lesson plan and make it stick.

The students respected her, and as she figured they would, asked for her advice about Quidditch tryouts. In fact, that is where she was headed now. With her old broom in tow, of course she hadn't forgotten about it. It had gotten her through many games, and one of the only fond memories she had from her previous career. One of the students, a first year named Samantha, asked, and practically begged Ginny for help. She was ambitious, and was determined to make the Gryffindor team, though Ginny didn't know how well the girl played, it was still difficult for a first year to make the team. She agreed to help Samantha either way, being reminded of her former self. The drive the young girl had was impressive, and made Ginny proud, especially when Samantha said that Ginny was her favorite Quidditch player.

The closer she approached the pitch; she started making out figures in the sky. Most likely students also practicing for try outs. Ginny approached the entrance for the pitch, and stood to the side of the field, just taking in the sight, memories flooding back to her. She leaned against the sturdy wall, and stared quietly up at the players, watching them flying around, talking amongst one another, helping one another out. A ghost of a smile crossed her lips as she thought of all the games she played here, the after parties, the happiness she felt when Hermione caught her eye, congratulating her on yet another victory.

That's when Ginny spotted Amanda flying around with the students, guiding them and barking out orders. She was with a group of older students, most likely students who were already on the team, and needed to sharpen their skills for the upcoming year. The pitch wasn't booked as far as Ginny knew, but if it was, then her and Samantha would find a private spot to practice. Ginny looked down the field and noticed an all too familiar woman with bushy brown hair, sitting on one of the benches players normally sit on, reading. Of course it was Hermione, and of course she was reading. She was here for Amanda most likely, and though it made Ginny's blood boil, she pushed those thoughts aside. Meanwhile in the back of her mind she was thinking, _why wasn't she here for me instead?_

The red head didn't see Samantha anywhere, the girl, whose hair was also red and face covered in freckles, was nowhere to be seen. They agreed to meet here right after classes finished; maybe she was just running late. Ginny felt slightly awkward standing there with her broom in her hand, watching everyone else. Luckily no one had noticed her…but it seems she had spoken too soon.

As if on que, Hermione looked up from her book and saw Ginny standing there. Their eyes once again locked, that almost unsettling but exciting feeling returned to her stomach. Her face burned red, and instantly Ginny smiled unwillingly. It was instinct, she couldn't help herself.

Hermione smiled back, and set her book aside, wondering why Ginny was there with her broom in hand. The uniform she was wearing looked good on Ginny, Hermione had to admit. The boots ended just below her knee, the khaki pants were stretched tight against her strong thighs, and her crimson top had her old number in gold lettering plastered on the front. Ginny looked stunning. She lifted her hand up slowly and waved to Ginny, wishing that she would come a little closer and sit down next to her. Ginny was unmoving, just standing and staring. _Why did she have to be so distant? Why doesn't she come near me like she used to? Why does it seem so hard to get near her now?_

Hermione hadn't had the chance to speak to Ginny for the past few days. With all of her meetings with Amanda, grading papers, and keeping her class in control, it was difficult to see her. She missed her, and wanted to spend more time with her. The girl of her dreams waited, a few steps away, and it seemed like she had never been further from the woman. She thought being so close to Ginny would be different; she thought they would be inseparable. She was dying to have more alone time with Ginny, but where would she find the time? Wasn't now a good time?

Hermione looked up at Amanda, seeing that she was busy, and decided she was going to talk to Ginny, even if it was for a few minutes. Why did she have to look and see that Amanda was busy in the first place? She felt as if there was some kind of unspoken rule between them, that she wasn't allowed to talk to Ginny when she was with Amanda, which was strange. Amanda had never spoken a word about Ginny, but the air that was between her and Amanda was just off putting. She could tell the way Amanda looked at Ginny, that there was tension there. Perhaps Hermione just wanted to avoid conflict, although it had no presented itself just yet. Thinking about how silly she sounded about the whole ordeal, Hermione set down her book marking the page she left off on, and stood up. Ginny stared quietly as Hermione approached her, and watched every inch of her body as she strutted toward the red head. The feeling between the girls intensified as they got closer, like a magnetic pull, the closest they could get wasn't close enough.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a star on the pitch." Hermione smiled, and stopped just a few feet away from Ginny. She crossed her arms in front of her, the cool breeze of the wind made her shiver slightly. The sweater she wore wasn't quite good enough.

"I wouldn't expect you to be here. I thought you'd be off in the library somewhere, tucked away in the corner reading." Ginny smiled, shaking her head at Hermione's comment.

Hermione's smile grew wider, to the point where her mouth began to hurt, but she couldn't stop it. "Normally I would be, but I have a few students out here who are practicing and asked me to come watch them and cheer them on. What about you? Why are you out here?"

"I'm supposed to be helping a student practice today, but I don't see her anywhere." Ginny looked around the field once more, but with no luck.

"Oh? Who are you helping?"

"Samantha Blackwood, do you know her? First year, very ambitious."

Hermione smiled knowingly and nodded her head, "Oh yes, I know her quite well. She reminds me of someone I know, sort of looks like her too."

"Who might that be?" Ginny's lip pulled up in a slight smirk.

Hermione bit her lip, and tried to gauge Ginny's mood. "Well she reminds me of you, when you were her age. She has that same…spark."

Ginny chuckled, "I thought you might say that. But humor me for a moment, what about her exactly reminds you of me? What do you mean by spark?" she took a step closer toward Hermione, stepping away from the support of the wall behind her.

"Well, she is quite the little firecracker, doesn't give up, pushes the limits…once she sets her eyes on something; doesn't give up until she gets it. She has that same looked of determination in her eyes, the look that says she won't give up, no matter what. I admire that quality, and I believe she'll make quite the Gryffindor."

Ginny nodded her head, and felt a little blush creep against her cheeks. She sighed, craving more time with Hermione, more specifically alone time. She could feel the tension she was used to holding, the stone wall she determined to keep up at all times, fade when she was with Hermione.

The girls stared at each other in silence for a moment, Hermione looking down at the grass, and then back up at Ginny, wondering how to make this time with her last longer. The ache she felt in her bones only subsided when she was near Ginny. She was her addiction, and although it might not have been clear to Hermione at the moment, her heart knew it. Suddenly, she had a great idea that would ensure that her and Ginny would be guaranteed time together.

"So Ginny, I was going to ask you a favor, if you don't mind. I know it usually isn't your kind of thing, but I could really use some help." Hermione said.

"Of course Hermione, what is it?" Ginny was eager to help.

"There's the annual Halloween festival and dance coming up, I know you might not know what I'm talking about because we used to have just the feast, but recently Headmistress McGonagall's held a celebration on Halloween night with games and dancing, and she's put me in charge of planning the events. I usually can handle it on my own, but I tend to get overwhelmed easily. I was just wondering if you would be interested in helping me out?"

Ginny raised her eyebrows, she wasn't much of the planning sort, but if it meant spending time with Hermione, then why not? "Sure, I'll help you out. What does it all entail?"

"I was thinking, if you're not busy, maybe we can get together Saturday evenings and work on planning out things like food, drinks, and entertainment. There are a few things I've thought of already, but I would love to have a second pair of eyes to see if it's any good, and some fresh ideas wouldn't hurt either. That is of course, if you are free on Saturday evenings? I wouldn't want to get in the way of any plans you might have." Hermione pushed back her hair that seemed to be blowing every which way it could, masking her face while she was trying to make Ginny interested. She wanted to seem appealing to Ginny, to entice her to get to spend more time with her, but she figured she just looked like a big bushy yeti who was talking while also eating her hair.

"And it'll just me you and me?" Ginny asked, looking up at Amanda, who was now staring directly at the pair. It seemed her practice didn't matter anymore.

"Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way. It'll be just like old times." Hermione replied, thanking her bushy hair for hiding her face, otherwise Ginny would be sure to see her blush.

"I look forward to it. What time were you thinking of tomorrow?" Ginny asked.

Hermione thought about it for a second, "I promised to meet Amanda in town for an afternoon of shopping, but any time after eight should be okay. How does that sound?"

Of course, this displeased Ginny. "You sure do spend a lot of time with her." She let it slip out, she couldn't resist this time.

"She's my friend; we enjoy each other's company." Hermione replied cautiously, noticing that Ginny's face fell ever so slightly.

Ginny nodded her head, "Eight should be fine." It was at this point that Ginny noticed Amanda flying down toward them, and made sure to wipe any sign of jealousy off her face.

Hermione looked up, a bit annoyed that Amanda was interrupting them. "You're not jealous, are you?" Hermione asked quickly before Amanda landed right behind them. However, Ginny didn't have time to respond.

"Well hello you two, I didn't know we had a celebrity in our presence. Ginny, what brings you here?" Amanda asked, pushing her hair back against the wind. Even the sweat on her face was beautiful. How could Ginny compete with that?

"I'm supposed to be meeting a student here to help practice. She asked me for help before the try outs." Ginny responded.

"Oh really? That's a shame, because the pitch is taken for the next hour or so for my private lessons, sorry to say." Amanda frowned, but it didn't seem genuine. It was more like a frown you'd see if someone were mocking you.

"Can't you let them practice on the side for a little while?" Hermione asked quietly. She hated conflict, and hated to see Ginny so disappointed.

"Rules are rules Hermione, you know that." Amanda looked at Hermione with a look of shock, that she would dare disagree with her. Her eyebrows lowered as her eyes squinted, studying Hermione's face carefully, noticing the remnants of her reddened cheeks.

Ginny shook her head, not wanting to get involved with some kind of lover's quarrel or whatever it was. It was just too awkward for her to be around. "It's alright Hermione. I'm sure I'll find somewhere else to practice. I'm just meeting her here, but she's running really late. Maybe I should go try to find her."

"Sorry Ginny, you understand, don't you?" Amanda asked, looking the red head up and down.

Ginny nodded her head, and turned around to leave. Hermione watched as Ginny took hold of her battered broom, and headed toward the exit. She wanted to follow Ginny, but instead she just stood there and watched. She wanted to comfort Ginny, but what would she be comforting her for? She didn't seem to be upset on the outside, but Hermione could just sense something was off.

"Oh Ginny, before you go, there's something I wanted to ask you." Amanda called after Ginny, who just turned around and waited for a response.

"I seemed to have lost Rosemary's place of residence, because my owl keeps coming back with undelivered letters. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find her, would you?" It seemed like an ordinary question, but the look on Ginny's face and the tone in which Amanda asked showed that there was something underlying there.

Ginny swallowed hard for a moment, and looked away. Her face showed a mixture of anger and sadness as her lips tried to pull together to form a coherent sentence. She swallowed hard, and simply replied, "Sorry, I have no idea." And walked away without another word.

Hermione watched as Ginny turned around and left once more, and then looked back to Amanda, who now had a smirk on her face.

"What was that all about?" Hermione asked, wrapping her arms tighter around her body. She wasn't sure whether to go after Ginny or not. She had no idea what was going on. She looked so sad, in that one instant, for one second, Hermione saw a look of true pain on Ginny's face, and then it was gone. Who was Rosemary?

"You never did like Quidditch, did you Hermione?" Amanda said simply, looking as innocent as a school girl.

Hermione shook her head, "No, what does that have to do with anything?"

Amanda chuckled, "I can't believe you Hermione, she's your best friend and you don't know who Rosemary is?"

The wind really started to pick up; the crisp northern air blew down on the girls in a strong sweep, and caused Hermione to sway in her spot. Amanda caught her in her spot and held on to her shoulder. The brunette could feel the strength behind Amanda, and was surprised.

"Why don't you tell me who she is then?" Hermione almost growled. She felt frustrated, but wasn't entirely sure why she felt that way and at who it was directed to.

Amanda nodded her head, "Meet me in my room after practice tonight. I'll tell you all about it."

"Why don't you just tell me now? I don't want to play games; I want to know what's going on." Hermione snapped, pulling away from Amanda, tearing her hand away from her shoulder.

Amanda wasn't expecting that, her smirk went to a frown in an instant. Her raven hair blowing delicately around her face, as she parted her lips slowly to say, "What's wrong Hermione? Why are you in a mood all of a sudden?"

Hermione was silent as she stared at Amanda, who genuinely looked concerned. Finally she spoke up, raising her arms up, not really caring who saw her mini outburst. "Did you see the look on her face? Whatever or whoever this person is obviously has an effect on her, she looked absolutely gutted when you mentioned Rosemary. I want to know what's going on with my friend, I've been wondering for a couple of months now, and it seems like you know what's been bothering her, but you won't just come out and say it. Why?"

Mione, calm down. I'll tell you, but as you can see I have students waiting for me." She gestured towards the sky, where the students seemed awfully interested in their conversation. They were all staring at Hermione, and she suddenly felt ashamed of the way she reacted.

Hermione dropped her hands, a gesture of defeat, and shook her head. Without saying anything else she turned around and walked away from Amanda, who huffed, rolled her eyes, and got back on her broom. The plan obviously hadn't worked out like she thought it would.

After Hermione gathered her belongings, she rushed out of the Quidditch pitch to try and see where Ginny went, but she didn't have to look far. Ginny and Samantha were on the edge of the dark forest, Samantha rested on her broom as Ginny instructed her on what to do. She couldn't hear what she was saying due to the distance, but Samantha looked over in Hermione's direction and waved.

Hermione waved back, and wondered if she should go over there or not. Ginny never turned around to see Hermione standing there, and that was a good hint that Ginny just wanted to do her own thing. Even after all the years apart, Hermione still knew how to read Ginny.

She stood there awkwardly for a moment, her heart told her to go over there and comfort Ginny, she practically was aching to go over there and hug her, for reasons she didn't quite understand. Her head told her to give her some time. Ginny wanted to be alone, and Hermione wasn't going to be a burden on her. Which was the right decision to make, head or heart? Hermione chose head.

She walked toward the castle, her book of muggle fables in tow, sighing the entire time she walked back to the castle. She was about to make her way toward her chambers, when she stopped in her tracks. Why couldn't she just find out who this Rosemary was on her own? Why did she have to wait for Amanda to string her along and play her cat and mouse game? Couldn't she take the matter in her own hands, wasn't that she was known for doing? Hermione knew how to research, and she knew she could find out who this girl was on her own. Of course she could. The library had Quidditch magazines and articles about players, surely there had to be something about someone named Rosemary.

Hermione rushed toward the library, for some reason thinking that if she didn't hurry up, all the magazines would disappear and there would be nothing left to find. The library was her escape as a student, and it still was as a professor. She reached the door of the library and calmed down. She collected herself, and walked inside with a smile on her face.

She nodded toward the librarian, who nodded politely back in return. Nodding was their thing. There were few students here on a Friday night, but that was perfect for Hermione. No one would be there asking her questions or looking over her shoulder. Hermione never ventured toward the sports or magazine section of the library, but that was actually one of the more popular places for students to hang around.

She felt as if she had to go undercover, hide her identity from anyone who might be passing by. Hermione wouldn't be caught dead reading a Quidditch magazine, would she? She couldn't let anyone see her reading, especially not Ginny. She doubted that Ginny would be here of all places, especially after she just saw her outside with Samantha.

Her fingers traced along the spine of the magazine's and found the most recent section, the new era of Quidditch stars. If someone knew how she felt towards Ginny, they might ask why she never picked up a Quidditch magazine to at least see how Ginny was doing, and to see what she was up to. The truth was Hermione was afraid. Afraid of seeing the life Ginny lived after Hermione was no longer part of it. It hurt her to know that Ginny moved on to other people, if Hermione could even call it moving on. Her heart pounded and ached about the thought of Ginny being with someone else, and now as she found a couple of magazines with none other than Ginny Weasley gracing the cover, she could feel her stomach turning.

She took a deep breath and made herself relax. It was just a stupid magazine, it wasn't like it was going to reveal who Ginny's lovers were, right? It was a sports magazine, not a gossip column. Hermione thought back to Rita Skeeter and all the garbage articles she wrote, and still did from time to time. This was a classy magazine, wasn't it? Purely focused on Quidditch…Hermione had nothing to worry about, at least that's what she told herself. She took the small pile of magazines and headed toward her usual corner of the library, one that she had claimed as her own for as long as she'd been there. It was quiet, and away from everyone. If someone were searching for her, this would be the perfect place to hide.

She sat down, and stared down at the cover of the first magazine, watching a smiling Ginny Weasley ride around on her broom and greet her fans by blowing a kiss. That was so unlike Ginny. Hermione found her fingers touching the cover, stroking Ginny's paper face, wishing that she could see her smile like that now. She must've been really happy.

Hermione held her breath as she opened the magazine and began flipping through the pages. Of course, the magazine was mostly pictures, and a few lazily written articles, or so Hermione thought. They wouldn't be able to hold her attention very long. An eternity seemed to have passed by until she got to the pages she was looking for. An article about the Holyhead Harpies was featured, and an interview with a few of the players was contained on the next couple of pages. She watched as paper Ginny flew around on her broom and made moves that she had no idea what to even call them. Ginny was a smooth mover that was certain. She noticed in a few different shots, that she was flying beside a brunette, who Hermione had never seen before. At first she didn't put much thought into it, but the more she looked at the images, the more she looked at their interaction, she knew there was something deeper between the two of them.

Hermione started reading through the paragraphs, each player having their own title for the questions that followed. She read as fast as she could through most of the other player's bios and questions, until she finally caught Ginny's name. Her eyes hungrily read the following article:

 _Love in Broom_

 _And so it seems that love has found its way to Professional Quidditch once again. Quidditch star Ginny Weasley, 22, pictured top left, and Rosemary Gillman, 26, pictured top center, have finally gone public with their relationship. There was much speculation about the two players, who have been seen multiple times together, outside of the pitch getting quite cozy with one another. Weasely stated, I wanted everyone to know that I am head over heels, madly in love with this woman. She is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and I couldn't imagine my life spent with anyone else. She is my soul mate, the love of my life, my everything, and I love her dearly. I am so thankful that I found her, that somehow in this crazy world, she came to me. I am the luckiest person alive._

 _Gillman responded by pulling Weasley close, and showing her a steamy embrace, photo can be seen on the next page. It's clear that these two are absolutely crazy for one another, and we are hopeful to see where this relationship goes. Will there be wedding bells? We sure hope so! Keep up with Quidditch News magazine for all the latest information on this budding relationship._

Hermione felt as if she were punched in the stomach. All the air had gone from her body, and she began to shake. Her fingers barely held on to the page as she turned it over to see this woman's lips pressed against Ginny's. The picture made her sick. How could Ginny feel those things for someone else? Didn't she know how she felt…of course Ginny didn't. Hermione never told her how she felt deep down inside…

She wanted to cry, she wanted to throw the magazines across the room, but she didn't. She just sat there for a minute with the picture of them kissing still invading her eyes. She had no idea how long she'd been there torturing herself with the image of another woman's lips on Ginny's. She felt betrayed, although she had no right to feel that way, she couldn't help it. She felt as if she had lost Ginny, but how could she lose her when she wasn't hers to begin with.

"So, I see you've been doing your research." A voice came from behind Hermione, who jumped at the sudden noise and yelped from the surprise.

Ginny was standing behind her, but now took the few steps forward and caught Hermione's eye, seeing the sadness in her eyes. "You know this is a library Hermione, you can't be yelling like that."

Hermione didn't say anything, she just stared at Ginny. "Did you think you could hide from me? I know where your hiding spot is, I never forgot."

"I'm sorry Ginny, I shouldn't have…"

"No need to apologize. I figured you would find out eventually, especially after Amanda mentioned her name. You want to know about Rosemary, right?" Ginny said. She was still in her uniform, dirt and sweat covered her face; she must have just come from her practice with Samantha.

Hermione nodded her head, saying nothing else.

Ginny nodded in return, and looked down at the magazines, finding the one magazine Hermione really hadn't looked at yet. She took Hermione's hand from her place on the magazine with her and Rosemary kissing, closed it and tossed it on the floor. She replaced it with the other magazine, still with Hermione's hand in her own, flipped to a particular page, and released Hermione's hand from her own.

"Read that article, and then you can ask me as many questions as you like." Ginny responded quietly.

Hermione went from looking at Ginny, to her hand where Ginny was just touching her, and finally down to the article. Hermione's eyes widened when she saw a full page spread of Ginny with tears running down her face, walking away from a Quidditch pitch with the lengthy title, _Quidditch Lover's Quarrel: When Everlasting Love Dies._


	6. Chapter 6

_It seems to be that the fairy tale is over. Ginny Weasley can be seen pictured below leaving the pitch after a massive loss, both on the field and off. Can anyone blame her though? Former fiancée Rosemary Gillman ended their six month long engagement after claiming to find the love of her life._

' _It just happened. I wasn't planning on falling in love. Jennifer is everything I've been searching for in a woman, and I finally found her.' Rosemary said to one of our reporters after Saturday night's brutal beating to the Wimbourne Wasps._

 _That's right; she was out on the field with former fiancée Ginny Weasley after breaking the news to her only hours prior, according to a source close to Gillman. Weasley, who usually is known for carrying the team to victory, suffered throughout the game. This is an all-time low for Weasley; the golden girl of Quidditch seems to have succumbed to her emotions. We admire her determination to go out and play, but anyone could see that this was more than just an off day. We wonder why Weasley wasn't benched after such a massive blow, but were unable to get a response from the Harpies head coach._

 _Weasley refused to comment on the situation and was last seen walking into the locker room along with her teammates. Gillman stayed behind to greet new fling, Jennifer Reynolds, in the stands. Of course this was shocking for fans to see, as they had no idea the relationship between the two Quidditch stars had ended. As it seems, Gillman couldn't be any happier, showing the crowd just how much she cared by kissing Reynolds right on the lips, causing an uproar of boos and shouts from the crowd._

' _I couldn't care less what the crowd thinks. I'm in love, and I'm sorry I've hurt people in the process, I really am, but I'm just trying to happy. Ginny will always have a special place in my heart, and am deeply sorry my actions have caused her such sorrow. I plan to remain with the Harpies, and hope that Ginny will overcome her emotions. I haven't spoken to her since before the game, but I do hope we can continue to be teammates. She's an asset to this team.' Gillman later said in a statement about the outright awkward and painful moments that took place on Saturday's game._

 _Weasley's heartbreak has been displayed for the wizarding world to see, we can only hope that Weasley will recover and get back on her heels. We've yet to receive a statement from Weasley, and sources say she hasn't left her home in days. What is to come of Ginny Weasley and the Harpies? Will she continue to play on the same team as her now ex fiancée, or will she move to another team? I'm sure the scouts are hoping for the latter. Count on us to provide you the most accurate, up to date source on all Quidditch news and gossip._

Hermione felt like she wanted to cry for Ginny. Her eyes roamed the images on the pages, watching the former shining Quidditch star struggling on the field, brushing her tears out of the way so she could focus on the game, even though it did no good. Why did they continue to let her play if she was hurting so badly? Why did they allow Rosemary to play in the same game? Couldn't they see it was killing Ginny? How could Hermione be so blind? There it was displayed right in front of her, and Hermione had no idea. Her former best friend was in so much pain, right under her nose. If only she had kept in touch, if only she had kept tabs on Ginny, maybe she could have been there for her. Maybe she could have done more.

The brunette looked up to see Ginny staring down at the same photos Hermione was just looking at. Her face was blank.

"Ginny…I'm so sorry." Hermione knew her words sounded pathetic to begin with. To say sorry at something so massive just didn't seem like it was enough. She didn't know what else to say though. What could she say? Sorry she wasn't part of her life for the past few years?

"Have you ever felt like you wanted to die?" Ginny asked casually, her eyes glazed over as if she were daydreaming.

Hermione swallowed, feeling the sinking feeling in her stomach plummet to new depths. It seemed to have no end. Hermione shook her head slowly, "No"

Ginny nodded her head, and bit on her lip slightly. "That night…I wanted to die. I never thought about killing myself until that very moment. I'm a Gryffindor, and we're supposed to be brave. Be strong…but I felt so weak in that moment. I thought I could get through anything, push through anything…that's why I stayed in the game. I thought I could push through my feelings, through the heartache. I thought I could use my pain to my advantage in the game, but I was wrong. I went home after the game, and I hurt myself. I did something bad." She shifted in her seat slightly, looking down at the magazine because she knew if she looked up and saw Hermione she would start crying, and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop. She's held it in for so long, people knew what happened to her, it was displayed in a magazine for Merlin's sake, but she refused to speak about it, even to her own mother, assuring her that she was fine when deep down inside, she wanted it all to end. She never really felt like she could open up to anyone about it; felt she would just be a burden, and that this was her own problem. Her own fault. She had to deal with it alone…until now.

She felt safe with Hermione. She trusted her. Even after all this time.

"Do you still feel that way?" Hermione asked, not sure if it was okay to ask what she did.

"I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about it since then. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't finish what I started, and other times I feel like I should be grateful to even be alive. If I took my own life, what would that really prove? It would feel like she would have won, that the value of my life relied in her selfish hands. I would have left behind some amazing people in my life…people who I've tried to shut out." Ginny responded, realizing that in her pain, she may have been a little selfish too.

Hermione reached out and touched Ginny's dirty, Quidditch worn hand, providing warmth to her cold fingers. She gripped her fingers in her own, and pushed aside her own tears. "Life isn't always so easy, but you are brave and strong Ginny, you really are. You fought alongside all of us in the war; you did some amazing things for all of us, and fought for a better life. Not for just you and me, but for everyone. You are here now; you didn't act on your feelings. That means something. I wouldn't know what to do if you were no longer here. You mean so much to me Ginny, you mean a lot to a lot of people…"

Ginny wrapped her fingers in Hermione's, letting the tears roll down her face as quickly as they could fall. It didn't matter right now that she was crying. It was just her and Hermione, and she felt comfortable with her. She felt it was okay to talk to her about these things. "I never want to feel that way again…and every day is like a struggle for me. I find it hard to find a good reason to continue living. There are days when I wake up and just regret even opening my eyes."

"I'm so sorry she did this to you Ginny. She has no idea what she gave up. Clearly the woman is insane." Hermione replied quietly, again feeling stupid for saying sorry.

Ginny used her free hand to wipe away some of the tears that began to splash against the wood of the table. The heavy droplets slightly tickled her face from moving so fast. "I spent so many nights wondering what was wrong with me, why wasn't I good enough for her and this other woman was? This other woman she had only met, was better than the years her and I had together. I spent so many nights telling myself that I was nothing, that I was worthless, and that I never truly mattered. I must have always meant nothing if she could leave so easily. I thought she loved me. I thought we were going to be together forever. It was like day and night. One day she told me she loved me, and the next she met someone new. I felt so horrible, and I tried to function the best that I could. I tried to be strong and just move, to do my job in the game, but the entire time I was in a daze. Wondering how someone could say they love me, that I was their soul mate, the one true love, one and only, and then do this? Like I was nothing. She dropped me like a hot pan, and it was suddenly all about this other woman. I must have been nothing… I am nothing. I think about this every single day of my life." The red head sighed, feeling the crushing feeling in her chest grow as she rehashed all the feelings she tried to hold inside for so long. No one knew her pain; no one knew just exactly what she'd gone through. Who could she really tell? Who could she trust? She knew she could always go to her mother for anything, but matters of the heart seemed difficult for Ginny to discuss with family.

Hermione didn't know what to say at first, everything she heard Ginny say was not true. Ginny was a treasure, a rare, one of a kind person. Hermione pulled on Ginny's hand, causing the red head to come closer, and embraced her. She pulled Ginny against her body as they sat side by side, in a long, overdue hug. Ginny couldn't help but bury her head against Hermione's shoulder, realizing how much she had missed human contact, and wondered when the last time a person actually hugged her. She inhaled, smelling the all too familiar scent of Hermione's shampoo, almost smiling at the thought of all the times she smelled her scent. Her body shook as uncontrollable sobs began to escape her, this was the first time she opened up about what happened to her, and she was glad it was to only Hermione.

"Ginny, you're not nothing. You are a wonderful, caring human being. You are a Quidditch pro, you have a wonderful, loving family, and people who really do care for you. I care for you, more than you probably know…there are a lot of people who would be lost without you in their life. Rosemary doesn't realize just exactly what she lost, and that's on her. It's her loss, and she'll wake up one day, wondering how she could have given up someone like you. You'll see. You are the kind of person that makes the world a better place, who gives the world a little bit of hope in such a cold, dark place. She has no idea what she has lost. I wish I had someone care about me the way you cared for her, I know if I were in her position, with someone like you, I would never let them go. I would be a fool to throw something like that away. You will get over this Ginny, I know it's hard right now, especially if you were engaged to the woman, but time will help you to heal. I know that's probably something you don't want to hear right now, but it's true. If there is any time that you need someone to be there for you, any time you need anything at all, all you have to do is come to me. I will always be here for you Ginny, and I will never let you go again. I regret not keeping in touch with you, you were such a special friend, and you were so dear to my heart. I will not abandon you, for as long as you want me in your life, I will be here to help you get through anything." Hermione whispered against Ginny's ear, while her hand roamed in light circles around her back, trying to soothe her as best as she could. She didn't care if Ginny was covered in dirt, or if she was sweaty. She needed to be comforted, Hermione needed it too. Holding Ginny was like getting a much needed dose of medicine. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach, and she wasn't sure if that was from nerves, or from feeling something inside her resurrecting itself. She was in love with Ginny. She knew that, and she tried for so long to bury it.

Ginny hands wrapped tighter around Hermione, listening to the brunette's soothing voice, and smiling through her tears. Hearing those words made her feel better, made her feel like she wasn't trapped in her own head, with her spiraling thoughts of worthlessness. She had someone else to talk to, someone else telling her that it wasn't her fault, that she wasn't meaningless.

"I've missed you"

"You have no idea how much I've missed you too."

They didn't want the embrace to end, but eventually Ginny pulled back, her tear-struck face mixed with the dirt caused quite the pattern on her face. Hermione wiped her own tears away, waiting for some kind of response from Ginny.

"Look at us, a couple of blubbering old women. And in the library of all places!" Ginny laughed at the situation, causing Hermione to crack a smile.

"I'm not sure who you're calling old, but maybe we should take this to a more private area. We wouldn't want our students to see us like this, now would we?"

Ginny looked down at her dirty, old uniform and tear stains on her khaki's, and imagined how ridiculous she must look right now. "Right…let's get cleaned up."

Hermione nodded, standing up and reaching out once more for Ginny's hand. She waited patiently as Ginny took a second to stare at her hand, and took it hesitantly. Hermione wasn't going to accept no for an answer anyway, as she pulled Ginny up from her seat. The two women stood face to face, Ginny slightly taller than Hermione. Her reddened cheeks and lips made Ginny seem like an innocent little girl for a moment, and Hermione was brought back to when she only knew Ginny as Ron's little sister.

Normally Hermione would return her books to their proper place, but right now it didn't seem to matter all that much. She pulled Ginny close to her side, and the two of them began walking back to their chambers together.

No one else was in the library, and Hermione nodded once again to the librarian as they exited, who paid no mind to them, and continued reading her muggle romance novel. She was just now getting to the good bits, where the heroic Reynaldo was about to save the beautiful Gwendoline from mortal peril.

The girls walked in silence for a few minutes, they made sure to avoid all the more populated areas of the hall. It was late, but it was a Friday night, students could still be caught wandering around the halls, sneaking about. Finally, they reached the stairs that led to their chambers, and both sighed in relief. Ginny had her head slightly resting against Hermione, just living in the moment that presented itself. Suddenly Ginny spoke up.

"Hermione?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you know I liked women?"

"No"

"Oh…well does it bother you?"

"No"

"Good"

Hermione paused for a moment, looking up at Ginny who turned her head to face Hermione, "Have you always been interested in women?"

Ginny blushed, but played it off the best that she could. She nodded her head in response.

"What about when you were with Harry? Are you attracted to both men and women?" Hermione asked, leading Ginny into the showers.

"I loved Harry, don't get me wrong, but there is something about women that just always held my interest more…haven't you ever thought about…that?" Suddenly Ginny felt like a child. Her confidence no longer existed, and she was her fourteen year old self in the presence of the incredibly sexy and intelligent Hermione.

"Thought about what?" Hermione struggled to respond. She wasn't stupid, but she wasn't sure how to answer. The question made her nervous. They made their way to the showers on the far end of the room, and paused, just staring at each other.

"Women…have you ever thought about women…intimately?" Ginny asked. Her heart was pounding.

Hermione chuckled nervously, looking anywhere but directly at Ginny.

"Yes, I have."

She shuffled her feet, and realized that they needed a fresh change of clothes and towels if they were going to shower. "I want you to get in the shower Ginny; I'll go grab some clean clothes for you, okay? I'll be right back. Don't wait for me. Now go." Hermione guided Ginny toward the shower, and Ginny couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Hermione was trying to be forceful with her, it was cute.

Before Ginny could say or do anything further, Hermione was already halfway out of the room, leaving a dirty, smiling Ginny behind. She felt like a school girl in that moment, feeling a sense of excitement course through her body at the thought of Hermione thinking about women…she wondered if she ever thought about her…she hoped she had.

Hermione rushed to her room, and grabbed a couple of towels and some clothes for herself. Ginny didn't give her the key to her room, so Hermione just grabbed an old t shirt and pair of sweat pants that Ginny could wear just until she gets to her room. Her mind tried to stay logical, to focus on getting the task of showering and bringing Ginny clothes, but the emotions were all too strong. It had been such a revealing, eye opening night. Hermione felt like she was finally getting somewhere with Ginny, she had seen the side of her she hadn't revealed to anyone. It had been a long time since Hermione felt this close to Ginny, and felt that this was only the tip of the iceberg. Of course Ginny wasn't going to feel better about her ex fiancée just from the words Hermione said, it was going to take time and patience to show her that she is nothing like what her heartache led her to believe she is. Hermione wanted to show her how special she was to her, she wanted to show her that her worth couldn't be measured, because there was no way to measure someone who was priceless.

Hermione stopped for a second to take a deep breath and try to collect her thoughts, but it was difficult with so many ideas and images running through her mind. She was jealous, sad, angry, excited, and happy all at the same time. With a change of clothes in hand, Hermione made her way out of her room, and back to the showers where Ginny was already showering, getting herself clean.

"I didn't give you the key to my room. I don't even remember where I left my bloody broom. I'm such a mess sometimes, I'm sorry Hermione." Ginny said from inside the stall, cursing herself for not remembering such simple things.

"No need to apologize. We will find your broom in the morning, I'm sure it's somewhere in the library, or maybe you left it with Samantha. I'm sure she would love to fly around on your broom. And don't worry about the key; I brought you some of my clothes you can wear for now." Hermione set the clothes next to Ginny's stall, and moved to her own…a few stalls away.

Things immediately felt awkward for Hermione. Here she was just a few steps away from Ginny, who was taking a nice, hot shower. It felt as if she had been here before…because she had. She closed her eyes, and forced herself to think of other things. Now was not the time to be thinking of how much she'd love to be in Ginny's stall, pinned against the wall with Ginny's body hot against her own, ravaging every part of her body. She thought she would be used to this by now, but she wasn't. The ache and desire seemed to be growing. She could only push her feelings aside for so long before they started to push back.

"Thank you Hermione." Ginny said.

"Don't worry about it Ginny. Anything you need, I'm here for you. No matter what, I always will be." Hermione replied, turning her faucet on, trying to get through the shower as quick as she could.

They were silent for a while, the only sounds that could be heard was the splashing of water and sound of shampoo bottles opening and closing. Hermione decided to break the silence once more, "I'm really sorry if Amanda upset you earlier."

"That's not your fault Hermione." Ginny said while she was washing her hair with Hermione's shampoo. Luckily Hermione had a few of them on hand.

"No, but she still should not have acted that way toward you. It wasn't right, and was outright mean. She knew what happened, and she was playing stupid. Was it to get a rise out of you? Was it to try and upset me?"

Ginny didn't respond immediately, so Hermione continued.

"I don't know why she does those things sometimes, but I plan on talking to her about it."

"So she's done stuff like this before?" Ginny asked, curious about Amanda. She didn't know much about the girl, but from what she saw so far, she didn't like her.

"Amanda has a bit of a temper; she gets upset when she doesn't get what she wants."

"And what does she want?"

Hermione was quiet, the shampoo in her hair dripped down her head as she thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. Power? Control over everyone?" Hermione suggested.

"Power over you? To manipulate you emotionally to get what she wants? To play mind games, and guessing games so she can always have something over you?" Ginny inquired.

"Why would she want that from me anyway?" Hermione asked.

"Maybe because she wants you to herself. Maybe she wants you more than just a friend."

Hermione scoffed at the suggestions, her cheeks burned slightly though Ginny would never see it. It wasn't Amanda she wanted to feel wanted by. "I highly doubt that Ginny. I think she just sees you as a threat, and was trying to…"

"Mark her property? Are we animals now? Am I not allowed to see my best friend anymore just because she doesn't like sharing? I did nothing to her, and she is already attacking me like a bully. It's ridiculous."

"Hey, I'm not her property…I can do whatever I want. I can see whomever I want. I don't answer to her."

"Then why are you always spending time with her? I know you would have never been out on the pitch for tryouts while we were in school, and suddenly you have an interest? Do you want to see her that much? Do you like that she is controlling? Do you like the power being in the hands of someone else?" Ginny looked toward the wall that hid the other girl from her view, feeling her blood begin to boil. She was jealous, plain and simple.

"Ginny, she's my friend. One of the only friends I have had here, she is a nice person once you get to know her. Her personality can just get in the way of that sometimes. Either way, she wasn't right for saying what she did to you. It was a low blow, and she knows it." Hermione began to wash her body, becoming frustrated at all the questions Ginny was throwing her way. She knew she hadn't answered all of Ginny's questions but hoped that she would drop the subject, and they could just move on.

Ginny lifted up her hands and pushed them roughly through her hair, feeling the jealousy course through her body as she tried as hard as she could to remain calm. It was so easy for her to get a temper, but she didn't want Hermione to see that. She didn't want to be a hypocrite and react like Amanda might have.

"You know I showed up to all of your Quidditch games while you played for Gryffindor…I was your biggest fan, even if you didn't see that. I'm sorry if I didn't show up to your tryouts, I didn't know you wanted me to." Hermione suddenly spoke in a quieter, softer voice.

Ginny's heart sank once more after hearing the tone of Hermione's voice. She sighed, and shut the water off. Her hand held on to the faucet as she stared at the wall for a moment, not really focused on anything in particular. "I'm sorry Hermione, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I guess I was just jealous that you went to her practice, but haven't watched any of my games when I played professionally…I said something I shouldn't have."

"It's alright Ginny. Don't worry about it. I can see how you would feel that way." Hermione shrugged it off, finishing up in the shower herself.

Ginny reached for the clothes Hermione supplied her and began to dress while still in the stall. Her skin was still damp; the towel didn't soak up all the water, causing the clothes to stick incredibly close to her skin. The shirt was a plain, black t-shirt almost too tight to fit Ginny, but it worked for now. The sweatpants Ginny put on were plain and grey, a little short in the legs but it didn't bother Ginny. She was wearing Hermione's clothes, a sign of ownership Ginny thought. Usually it would be the other way around. After all, Hermione didn't know everything about her past just yet…

The red head exited the stall and began to dry her hair with the towel, looking in the general direction of Hermione's stall. The water in the brunette's stall suddenly shut off, and a bare arm reached out of the stall. Ginny watched as if in slow motion as Hermione's head popped out of the shower, being sure to cover her breasts, but enough to show her glistening shoulders. She caught Ginny's gaze, and the two stared at each other for a second. It would be so easy for Ginny to take Hermione back in the stall; she was only a couple of feet away.

Ginny stared wide eyed, wanting nothing more than to approach Hermione, but forcing herself to stay in her spot. She was instantly turned on, her nipples were now erect both from the fabric of the shirt brushing against her, and the excitement she felt coursing through her body. Tonight was full of emotion.

The trance the girls were in seemed to last a lifetime, but was only a couple of seconds. Hermione grabbed her towel, smiled awkwardly, and went back in to her stall. Ginny cleared her throat and pretended to cough; she needed something to distract herself, anything at all. Was she supposed to go back to Hermione's room now, or was she going to return to her own, left cold, horny, and restless?

"Would you like to come back to my room? Maybe we can start planning for the Halloween event? Or we can talk about anything really…or we don't have to do anything at all." Hermione silently cursed at herself for sounding so unsure and awkward.

"I'd like to spend some more time with you. We can do whatever you want. Anything to get my mind off my past." Ginny said, making her way toward the bathroom door as she spoke. "I just need to get my toothbrush and brush my teeth. I'll be over shortly after."

"Alright" Hermione stepped outside the stall, looking at the door closing. The towel was wrapped against her head, hoping that her hair would dry relatively fast. It usually took hours before her hair would dry unless she used magic. She reached for her shower caddy, and grabbed all of her belongings. She walked over toward the sinks, and took a look at herself in the mirror. Grabbing her toothbrush, and dabbing a bit of toothpaste on the bristles, Hermione sighed at the confusion she felt swirling around in her head. She wanted Ginny so badly, and to have her dangling right in front of her like a delicious piece of candy was torture. She knew about her past now, knew about what she had been through with her ex fiancée, and although she felt jealous knowing that she felt such things for another woman, she still loved Ginny. It bothered her that this woman came into Ginny's life after she knew Hermione; it felt like betrayal, although it wasn't. What right did this woman have to take Ginny away from her like that? To crush her heart and break her into a million pieces without a second thought? She got to have Ginny in ways Hermione only dreamed of. It wasn't fair. Who did she think she was?

 _Maybe if I had told Ginny my feelings before, she would have never been involved with this woman. Maybe I could have been her fiancée, I could have been the one she told was the love of her life, her soul mate, her everything…but I wasn't those things to Ginny. Rosemary was. Rosemary had the chance to have Ginny, to touch her, to kiss her, to make love to her…_ Hermione brushed her teeth more furiously as her thoughts continued.

 _How come I wasn't those things to Ginny? Is it my own fault?_ Hermione asked herself. She spit out the toothpaste, and washed her mouth out. She wore her black robe, with a pair of panties and plain white t shirt underneath. She couldn't wear nothing underneath…not like the last time Ginny visited her.

She wiped her mouth off with the tip of her towel and made her way to her room. Ginny still hadn't come out of her room, but Hermione figured she would eventually. Hermione entered her room, and looked around at the mess she had. Student's papers were spread all over her desk, ink bottles laid out open and drying up, confiscated toys and gadgets she picked up from students were in a tray sitting on her bed. She had to clean up quickly, before Ginny showed up.

She gathered the student's papers as neatly as she could, stacked them, and placed them into a drawer. The confiscated items were placed in the corner of her room, far away from her bed. She didn't want Ginny becoming interested in the toys instead of being interested in her. She imagined most of them came from her brother's joke shop. She turned around and gave the room a once over, noticing the ink bottles were still on her desk. She made her way over to the bottles and tried to close the lid, and in her nervousness slipped and spilled the ink all over her hand and desk.

"Shit" Hermione cursed under her breath, frantically trying to clean up her mess.

"Since when do you have such a dirty mouth?" Ginny's voice echoed from behind Hermione.

Hermione's cheeks burned red as she turned around to face Ginny. Her fingers were now black; the towel that was resting on her head was now soaking up the ink left on her table. She must've looked like a mess, her wet and bushy hair covered her face, and her hand and part of her leg covered in ink. Quite embarrassing.

"Now look what you've gone and done. You've made a mess of yourself. I can't even leave you alone for two minutes!" Ginny smiled as she approached Hermione.

Hermione growled in frustration, loud enough to Ginny to hear. "You sound exactly like your mother."

"Now there's no need to be upset. Here, go sit down on your bed. I'll take care of this."

Hermione simply complied with Ginny's request. Her cheeks were crimson, as she made her way over to her bed and sat down, making sure not to get any ink on her sheets. The ink had already dried on her hand, and she busied herself with trying to get it off. She didn't want to ruin another towel with ink stains though. She felt like a helpless child.

Though there was always magic, and she and Ginny both knew her stains could be removed with a simple swish of their wands, but it seemed to escape their minds at the moment.

She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and relax. She was tense and frustrated, feeling like if she touched anything else; she would only make more of a mess. Hermione was in the middle of exhaling when she felt a cool, tingling sensation on her leg. She opened her eyes and saw Ginny leaning down on her knees, with her leg in her hand, cleaning the ink stain off.

Ginny was focused on the stain, but looked up and noticed Hermione's confusion. "I've got this Hermione, don't worry." Ginny's hand slowly made her way up Hermione's thigh, taking the towel in her other hand, and gently removed the ink. Goosebumps spread throughout her body from Ginny's touch as she swallowed hard, and continued to watch Ginny move up her leg, reaching her inner thigh. The lightest of touches made Hermione feel so good. It felt wonderful.

Her head arched back as Ginny continued. Now with one hand still on Hermione's leg, she stood up and sat next to Hermione, her hand grazing the tip of her short, black robe. She reached for Hermione's hand, placed it against her own palm up, and began to clean once more. Hermione opened her eyes, and through a dreamy gaze watched as Ginny focused solely on cleaning her up. How could such an ordinary experience feel so good?

Hermione's mouth fell open slightly from the touch. Ginny's hand was incredibly close to her core, and she knew it. She could see the focus on Ginny's face, but there was a hint of something else. Something that Ginny was hiding. Was she going to get closer? Hermione certainly hoped so.

Then she felt Ginny's hand upon her face, cupping her cheek, and what felt like caressing was actually Ginny cleaning a small smudge of ink off of Hermione's cheek. Ginny was never this close to Hermione. The two of them never dared to get this close. What would someone think if they walked in to see the Arithmancy professor on her bed, with the Dark Arts professor's hand halfway up her thigh?

Hermione watched as Ginny licked her lips and moved in closer, she could see the desire in Ginny's eyes. At least she thought she did.

"There you go Granger, all better now." Ginny said with a smile, and pulled away ever so slightly. Though it pained Ginny to do so, she knew now was not the time to kiss Hermione. It wouldn't be right.

Hermione looked flabbergasted. She was certain Ginny was going to make a move, or make something….anything, but she pulled away. Did she misread Ginny? Was she not attracted to her? What was wrong?

Hermione sighed, trying to make her frustration known, but not outright saying it. There was some kind of unspoken dance the two of them were doing .They both knew what was going on, but neither of them had the courage to come out and say it. They were Gryffindors, wasn't being courageous and brave part of the requirement? One minute she thought Ginny wanted the same thing she did, and the next Ginny is sitting back up on the bed playing little miss innocent. Even after all this time apart, they were still playing the same game.

Though maybe Ginny was just hurting…and Hermione shouldn't be so judgmental. Ginny was staring at the door to Hermione's room, wondering if she should stay or go. Hermione didn't seem to enjoy her pulling away, and she didn't want to make it any more awkward for them, but she didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay, and just be there with Hermione.

Hermione grabbed her wand, and swished it at the lights, causing them to dim. She pointed her wand at the fire place and suddenly a great, roaring flame appeared. She could see Ginny's face in the reflection of the flame as she watched it quietly. Ginny was a complicated one to wrap her head around, but she could guess that today had been a rough day for her, and maybe kissing her best friend wasn't the best idea at the moment. Hermione pushed aside her doubts, trusting that Ginny was really upset, and that's all it was.

"Why don't you lay down with me for a while? You don't have to go, do you?" Hermione asked.

Ginny was truly surprised, and shook her head. "I don't have anywhere to be."

Hermione lay down on her bed, pushing the blankets down with her arms, and then legs. Her foot brushed against Ginny, who smirked at the brunette. "Come on then. I have a spot, just for you. It'll be like old times, remember?"

Ginny was grinning now, and moved toward Hermione, crawling on all fours until she was next to her. She plopped down on the bed, and shared the same pillow Hermione rested on. "How could I forget all those nights spent together at my parent's house? All the stories we shared, all the memories we shared. Those were some of the best days of my life."

"Mine too. I'm really glad to have you back. At least now we don't have to deal with your mother coming to barge in on us at the crack of dawn to tell us to do our chores." Hermione laughed, followed by a yawn.

"Thank Dumbledore for that. I used to think she was mental for getting us all up so early to clean when we had magic to do everything for us. She insisted doing it the muggle way though." Ginny watched Hermione's eyes start to close. The weight of the day caught up with her, and now she was falling asleep.

"Sometimes the muggle way builds character." Hermione said through another yawn.

Ginny nodded her head, though Hermione couldn't see it because her eyes were now closed.

"It certainly does."

Hermione's breathing had slowed to long, deep breaths, and Ginny knew she was asleep. Was it okay to stay the night with Hermione? Was that why she had invited her to lay down with her, or was it just to speak and then return to her own room?

The only sound that could be heard was the dull crackling of the fire that illuminated their silhouettes. Ginny sat up for a moment, looking down at her sleeping beauty, contemplating whether or not to go. Hermione then turned to face Ginny, laying on her side and mumbled something incoherent. The sight of Hermione made Ginny melt. She hadn't felt this way in a very long time. Usually she couldn't wait to get out of the bed of another woman, and on to the next. But Hermione was different. Hermione wasn't every other girl. She was simply her Hermione.

She took a moment to look at her surroundings, and take in all that had happened that day. When she woke up this morning, this wasn't where she expected to be. She never would have imagined that she'd be laying down in Hermione's bed, especially after telling her what happened with her ex fiancée. It just goes to show just how great of a person Hermione was. She really did care about her.

Ginny decided to do something she used to always do when Hermione stayed over at the burrow. Without speaking, she looked directly at Hermione and mouthed the words "I love you".

She looked down at the brunette for a second longer, and decided to stay. She laid her head back down against the pillow, and watched Hermione sleep until her own eyes grew heavy, and eventually, drifted into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
